Recollections of a Romance
by tobystephensfan
Summary: Rochester recollects to the time when he started his budding and passionate romance with Jane. ALL CHAPTERS NOW RE-DRAFTED! NEW CHAPTER ADDED ON JUNE 27 2008! A NEW CHAPTER STILL TO COME!
1. A meeting

A long winter it had been. A very long winter; and now I had to return to that cold, dark place in which Bertha still remained in the north tower which I called 'home.' Bertha my wife; a mad woman, a marriage that I was tricked into by my father and Bertha's father and her Brother Richard Mason. O how young I was, what a fool! I had been travelling since the early hours of the morning. My belongings had been arranged to be delivered to Thornfield by carriage and I was to ride home on Mesrour. I had since been travelling during the summer to France, Spain and numerous other places I had wished to travel to as a young boy. Now I was on my journey home returning to Thornfield in the mild coldness of winter. I was beginning to draw tired so I let Mesrour lead the way home. With Pilot running close by my side I relaxed in my saddle and looked upon the scenery that lay before my eyes. As Mesrour galloped through the roads and pathways of the familiar town I noticed I often came here with my mother as a young boy. We would stroll quietly and slowly around the shops and market and sometimes buy ourselves secret luxuries in which father and Rowland needn't have known. I was very close to my mother, she loved me dearly and I her. Everyone exclaimed that I had her genes and interests of science and nature, and the wish to travel. Unlike Rowland my elder brother, who was most like father in many ways; more than one. He was so selfish and greedy just like father and had inherited his looks. Many say he was much more handsome than I but I did not care for handsomeness, I only cared for love and social interests. Father did not like me, he always put Rowland first. Mother immediately noticed this from the day I was born. They didn't get on well after my birth and I always blamed myself for it. I doted on her; she loved me, unlike father and Rowland. Mother died when I was 10. I cried for many months but father and Rowland didn't seem to care. I can only vaguely remember her. Of the walks we used to take, the songs she used to sing to me. It suddenly occurred to me that in the past 10 years I hadn't thought about mother as much as I used to. I had not visited her grave since two years ago. What did this mean? I decided once I returned to Thornfield I would go to the local churchyard and see my mother. Talk to her; let her know I was here. I continued on through the town approaching the pathway in Hay Lane. I wanted to reach Thornfield more than ever. I wished to retire to my chamber; to have pleasant dreams of mother and forget my shady past of life with father, and the courtesy he bestowed upon me. I struck Mesrour with my crop and he began to gallop faster along the country road.

Pilot ran ahead. It was foggy that winter day, so I couldn't see which way pilot had run. I could not see clearly the road ahead of me. The shrubbery and road were a mystery to me; although I had ridden this road several times before. Darkness would soon be approaching and I was not yet home. As I carried on riding I heard Pilot bark anxiously ahead of me, why was he barking? Mesrour galloped faster and faster to reach where Pilot stood. There was much ice on the road. I saw a small female figure standing waiting for me to go past. Suddenly Mesrour slipped on the ice on the causeway. I fell off Mesrour onto the cold, damp earth beneath and sprained my ankle. Mesrour had fallen also but had quickly rose and stamped his hooves. I slowly stood and started cursing. My foot hurt like the blazes. I must quickly return home and see Doctor Carter. The small figure approached me

"Are you injured, sir?"

How small she was; so pale. Not all a beauty but willing to help. I admired her for that. Her black hair pinned back, her bonnet covering most of her face so I could not see her features distinctly. She had a light grey dress on, with trimmed lace at the hem and collar. I could see she was not of the wealthy status but she must be a working woman. I could tell by her clothing and physiognomy. Her green eyes looking up at me, she could not have been more than nineteen; I was guessing maybe seventeen or maybe eighteen. She asked again.

"Can I do anything?"

I tried my hardest to put on my most instructive voice.

"You must stand to one side" I said.

I realised Pilot was still barking "Down Pilot!" I shouted.

"If you are hurt, and want some assistance, sir, I can fetch someone either from Thornfield Hall or from Hay."

I was taken back by this kind gesture.

"Thank you; I shall do: I have no broken bones – only a sprain:"

I rose up slightly so I was standing. My foot still aching I let out a loud 'Ugh!'

The young female creature spoke once more

"I cannot think of leaving you, sir, at so late an hour in this Lane until I see you are fit to mount your horse"

"I should think you ought to be at home yourself, if you live in this neighbourhood, where do you come from?"

"From just below. I will run over to Hay for you with pleasure, if you need it; indeed, I am going there to post a letter."

From just below? That was Thornfield, my dreaded home. How was it I did not know this person who was living in my residence? I decided I would find out who she was.

"You live just below- do you mean that house with the battlements?"

I pointed over to Thornfield; where the moon shone brightly upon it making it clear to see.

"Yes sir"

"And whose house is it?"

"Mr Rochester's, sir"

"Do you know of Mr Rochester?"

"No, I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting him."

"I take it he is not resident then at this moment?"

"No, sir"

"You are not a servant at the Hall, of course. You are-"

I could not make out who she was; I knew she was not a servant of any kind. I was still thinking when she helped.

"I am the governess"

"Ah, the governess!"

Yes the governess! How could you have forgotten Edward? You told Mrs Fairfax to find a governess for Adele while you were on your travels! Now I remember, yes I did indeed demand this new employment. I thought it late, she must get home, and I cannot leave her in this Lane. But she could do me one thing.

"I cannot commission you to fetch help, but you may be of service to me yourself, if you will be so kind."

"Yes, of course, sir."

"Try to get hold of my horse's bridle and lead him to me."

I hopelessly watched as she tried to approach Mesrour. But she could not; he would not let her go near his head. I could not watch it any longer, so I called out.

"Come here, I may find you useful."

As she approached me I put my arm out to lean against her small shoulder. I leaned on her with great stress and difficulty as I limped over to Mesrour. I caught Mesrour's bridle to calm him. I let go of her shoulder and saddled Mesrour. My foot wrenched with pain and as I saddled Mesrour I let out another 'Ugh!'

"Excuse me, but could you please pass me my whip; it lies under the hedge there."

I watched her as she quickly sought it and gave it to me.

"Thank you, Miss?"

"Miss Jane Eyre, sir."

"Thank you, Miss Jane Eyre. Now make haste with the letter to Hay and return as fast as you can."

I spurred my heel and Mesrour reared and we bound away. Pilot by my side I continued into the fog and mist of the road ahead. Miss Jane Eyre? How kind she was, the governess. I felt a warmness rush through my body. Why have I left her in the Lane? If I was a real master I surely would have taken her back myself. Oh, how I wished to go back to her, but I knew I mustn't and she would be posting her letter in Hay by know. Why was she standing in that solitary lane at such late an hour, I suspect she was hovering and casting spells, that's why Mesrour had fallen. I knew this was not true but what harm was there in thinking these teasing thoughts? Once I had returned home I would ask to meet Jane Eyre and learn more of her. Mesrour galloped home to Thornfield.

I approached Thornfield and entered into the courtyard. No longer was this place cold and dark to me, but it was filled with a happy presence. I still dreaded on visiting the North Tower to speak with Grace Poole (Bertha's nurse) and with Bertha herself. I Left Mesrour in the stable with the stable boy and entered Thornfield through the entrance hall. All was silent, nobody present. It was like I had just walked into a deserted place. I walked to the kitchen to see Mrs Fairfax my housekeeper preparing supper. I greeted her and asked for Dr Carter to see me in the drawing room. I was with Dr Carter for a mere hour when he too concluded I had a sprain and needed rest. With this I retired to my chamber as it grew late, and I so desperately needed a good nights rest. As I lay in my bed I wondered of Jane Eyre. Had she returned home yet? It was such a late hour and I grew worried. 'Edward she will be fine! She's an independent young woman and can take care of herself, stop worrying!'

Meeting Miss Eyre could wait till tomorrow, she too needs her rest.


	2. An understanding

Morning rose and I was suddenly startled by a knock on my chamber door. Light ceased through the casement windows, how bright the sun shone today. I tried to open my eyes but they had not yet grown used to the early light of the morning and so I squinted them until they had adjusted.

"Sir? Are you awake?"

It was John, one of my servants. He had come to awaken me, as I had not yet risen.

"Yes John, I am awake, will you please prepare a bath for me this morning?"

I looked at the clock sitting on the mantel piece in my chamber. It was 9 o'clock. How late I was this morning! I had had much sleep and was revived of energy, I did not need a bath but urged for one greatly. I slowly arose from my bed and sought my robe; which was lying on the chair by the fire. I wrapped it about me and exited my chamber to wait for John to ready my bath.

After some wandering of the halls I returned to my chamber and sought out my bath and laid there in the heat of the rising steam of the water. Oh! I so needed that bath. I quickly dried myself, dressed and shaved. I dressed in my crisp white shirt, blue waistcoat and jacket and my matching breeches. I descended the stairs in search of breakfast. I found Leah (one of the cooks and maids at Thornfield) in the kitchen.

Leah turned and ran to embrace me. "How good it is to see you Mr Rochester!"

"Leah, I have missed our morning talks. How good it is to see you, you are looking very well."

"Thank you sir, please take a seat let me make you some breakfast!"

I sat down at the small, round oak table placed in the rear corner of the kitchen.

"What would you like?"

"Erm...Anything I don't mind. Just some toast and a cup of coffee will do."

I patiently watched as Leah made my toast and coffee. Whilst she was preparing my breakfast she sought to tell me about the latest happenings since I had been on my travels.

"We have a new post boy now Mr Rochester."

"And why might that be?"

"Sadly, Peter passed away some four months ago."

Peter had passed away? Poor Peter, I wonder how his wife Lily was faring and the kids as well.

"I am not surprised though Sir, no one was, he was 57."

"I'm sure this new post boy will be just as good."

I ate my toast and coffee, thanked Leah and then went to my study. I dreaded the thought of the business I had to attend to today. First I had to see to the house business, mortgages and what not, and then I had to appear up in the North tower and meet with grace about her charge. (Also known as Bertha). I heard footsteps in the hallway. Did Jane get back safely last night? Was she aware that the master of Thornfield had returned? I must speak with her today. No, I have business to attend to. Tonight? Yes, tonight we shall meet. I thought of how she would react when she found out I was the master of Thornfield, the man she had helped in Hay Lane only last night. As I was drifting away into my thoughts and dreams there was a knock on my door.

"Mr Rochester, sir?"

"Yes John?"

"Mr Grahams is here to see you"

"Send him in John."

Mr Grahams was my solicitor and banker. He took care of my financial business, my mortgages and share prices etc. I did not wish to see him today; I only wanted to see Miss Eyre. Mr Grahams entered my study and sat opposite me on the other side of my desk. I spent that morning talking with Mr Grahams about the money I had in several banks and when I would pay the mortgage on Thornfield Hall. After Mr Grahams had left I exited my study to return to the kitchen as I was in need of a hearty lunch.

Leah had made me a delicious jam sandwich with blueberry muffins afterwards, and a cup of tea. It was delicious. I finished my lunch and was about to return to the study when Mrs Fairfax entered the kitchen.

"Good morning Mrs Fairfax, how are you this morning?"

"I am very well, Sir, and you?"

"I am very well today Mrs Fairfax, thank you."

"Did you employ a governess for Adele?"

"Yes, Sir."

"When did she arrive?"

"She came to us in October I think it was."

"I see, well I wish to see her, please send her into the drawing room tonight after supper."

"Yes, Sir."

I bid Mrs Fairfax a good afternoon then retired to the drawing room.

It was not long before Adèle came to me in the drawing room.

"Monsieur Rochester! Vous êtes à la maison! Je suis si content, je vous ai manqué terriblement!"

She ran up to me and jumped onto my knee.

"Bonjour Adèle, aller la pièce avec le pilote par le feu, je suis dans aucune humeur pour votre bêtise."

Adèle jumped off my knee and took up her place beside the fire with Pilot. It appeared that she was putting ribbons in his fur; Pilot did not look very satisfied. I chuckled to myself at the way he looked, like a porcelain French doll.

I turned my seat beside the fire so it was facing away from the door, so that I could not be seen clearly. I would finally get to meet this Miss Jane Eyre who had been living in my residence since October. Why was she all I could think about? After what felt like an eternity a half hour passed and Mrs Fairfax entered the drawing room. "Mrs Fairfax, could you please bring in some tea?"

"Of course Sir"

Mrs Fairfax exited the drawing room and I sat patiently and watched Adele play with Pilot while I waited for Miss Eyre's entrance. I did not hear her enter but Adele had noticed.

"Ah. Miss Eyre."

Adele was very fond of presents just like her mother Celine, now she spoke up and asked of her present.

"Mr Rochester, avez-vous amené un cadeau? Et mademoiselle Eyre?"

"Did you expect me to have brought you back a present Miss Eyre?"

She replied in the sweetest of ways.

"Excuse me sir?"

"Are you fond of presents Miss Eyre?"

"I hardly know Sir; I have little experience of them."

I was taken aback by her reply. She had never received a present? I was so surprised at her reply that I had to ask her.

"Never had a present?"

"I believe they are generally thought pleasant things, Sir."

Generally thought? Well surely she must know, even if she has never received a present before. I must know more of this girl, her family, her life, and how she came to be employed here. She was once again dressed in a light grey dress as she had been when we first met in Hay Lane. Petite figure, not that tall, her skin as white as snow, I thought once by the heat of the fire her skin would become soft and warm and her cheeks would be rosy red. I bid her to sit in the seat I had placed beside me.

She took the request and was seated.

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen Sir"

"What of your family?"

"I have none sir."

"None at all? Friends?"

"None, Sir."

"Not one?"

"I had a friend once but she died a long time ago."

I could see the distress this caused her, having her friend taken from her. I thought it wise to change the subject topic. I asked her how she came to be in my employment and she simply replied "I advertised." How forthright she was, she showed no fear or shame of her situation; she was proud to be a governess. She explained to me how her parents died when she was young, and how she lived with her uncle and Aunt Reed; but when her uncle died her Aunt cast her off and she went to Lowood Girls Institution. I wondered how long she had been there for so I asked her the question.

"How long were you there?"

"Eight years"

Eight years? So that would make her 10 when she was sent there as she had recently told me she was but eighteen. My assumptions of her age where correct. When I met her in Hay Lane I had concluded she must be seventeen or eighteen. She was fairly small.

"Didn't they feed you at Lowood?"

"No, Sir."

"I'm surprised you survived your so small."

I came to the conclusion that from the dates she had given me of when she was at Lowood, she was at the worst of it. I had heard in the local newspapers that a fever broke out and many died; maybe this was how her friend had died.

I asked her if she could play the piano as Adele said she played brilliantly. I told her to play. She could play a little. Adele also told me she was an artist. I had her portfolio called for earlier and pursued to look through it. The artwork was superb. She couldn't have painted these herself?

"Did you paint these?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Are the ideas all yours?"

"Yes."

"Where you happy when you painted these?"

"I was fully occupied, I was not unhappy."

How could she have been happy? The paintings were extraordinary; she was quite the artist. It was almost 9 o'clock what was I thinking of Adele should be in bed! I quickly bid Miss Eyre and Adele goodnight. As they exited the drawing room I quickly made a stern remark.

"My foot hurts like the blazes"

It did not hurt any more but I was eager in what her reply would be; I was ready for some stern remark back but all I got in return was "Goodnight Sir."

And she was gone.

I had learnt so much about Miss Jane Eyre in the past hour or so that I felt as if I had known her all of my life. We were both so alike. She and I were both alone. We had no family to speak off, my father and brother are both passed away and Jane's family cast her off after her parents died; so we were both alone. Alone and miserable. I took a deep breathe stood and ventured upstairs to my own chamber, where I could rest and dream peaceful dreams of Jane.


	3. A strange encounter

Over the past week I spent most of my nights talking to Jane or walking around the grounds of Thornfield. I wanted to know more of Jane even though I had found out most already; I wanted to know what she thought and what she felt. But why was it so hard for her to confide in me? We haven't known each other for long but I feel as if she is my closest friend in this world, I can confide in her and I trust that she can do the same with me. She is unlike any woman I have ever met. I would talk to her today I would find out her thoughts and feelings, get her to reveal more of her life and her happiness here. But first I must go to the North Tower. I must meet with Grace to discuss Bertha. I left my study and headed for the North Tower. I still had not seen Grace or Bertha since my arrival back; I had been busy doing the household business.

It then dawned on me I had not been to mother's grave yet, when I said I would once I returned. After I had seen to Bertha I would head into Millcote to visit her. I reached the door of the North Tower. I took out the large ring of many silver keys and unlocked the door; I dashed in and bolted it behind me. As I ascended the swirling stairs up to the room in which Bertha was kept, I unlocked and bolted doors behind me, Bertha had a tendency to escape easily and roam the hallways. I finally reached the inner room where Grace was attending to Bertha. Grace suddenly rose from her sewing.

"Morning, Sir"

"Good Morning Grace how is your charge this morning?"

"She is very well Sir, although rather quiet today."

I replied with a simple 'Humph!'

I started towards the dressing table in which Bertha sat in her scarlet red dress. It was one of her favourites.

"Be very careful Sir!"

"Aren't I always grace?"

I approached Bertha and kneeled down in front of her.

"Good Morning Bertha."

She stared at me in the face. But said nothing. I repeated.

"Good morning Bertha?"

"Good morning."

Good Morning? I had expected less.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Not well."

"Oh?"

"Where is Richard, I must talk with Richard!"

Richard? Why did she suddenly ask for Richard? He had not even been to visit her in years, why would she want to see him?

"Richard, your brother is in Jamaica Bertha."

"Jamaica? Home!"

She quickly turned from me and began to slowly brush her hair. I rose from my kneeling position and turned to Grace.

"Be sure to keep an eye on her this evening Grace, she may change."

"Very well, Sir."

She curtseyed. I bowed. And I descended.

A quick consultation it had been. I had long dreaded the meeting for near a week now but all did not go too bad. It could have been worse. She could have had one of her violent turns again and attacked me. I'm just thankful that she never, I would not have been able to handle her. Especially not today of all days. I had had such a tedious day with mortgages and such. I needed to get away and I needed to see mother to speak to her. I quickly sought my riding hat and coat. I bolted out of the main entrance and to the stables where Mesrour was resting. I quickly had his saddle on and I was quickly riding towards Millcote. I travelled not long but when I arrived in Millcote I set Mesrour to the fields nearby and began to walk past the shops and to the churchyard. I was near the churchyard when an unfamiliar face appeared.

"Edward!"

"Eshton! How good to see you again! What brings you to Millcote today?"

"I am just looking in the shops but I am attending the Ingram's next week."

"Oh?"

"Yes their having a house party. They were going to invite you but did not now when you would be back from your travels."

"Well I'm back."

"Why don't you come along, they would be happy to see you. Especially Blanche."

"Yes. Blanche! Why does she chase me?"

"She 'thinks' she loves you."

"I know she's only after my fortune anyone can see. She is spoilt just like her mother Lady Ingram."

"I noticed!"

Eshton and I laughed at this. Eshton was a friend of mine from university. We had known each other since we were young and he was about my age. About 38. Two old men standing in a town. What a sight! As I thought this I could not help but laugh in my mind.

"Maybe I will join you Eshton."

"Excellent. And what is new with you then Edward?"

"I have a governess."

"A governess? Ah for Adele I take it?"

"Yes."

"Her name?"

"Ja…Miss Eyre."

What I meant to say was Jane but I thought it to informal to address her in that manner to people whom she did not know; so I quickly addressed her to Eshton formally. Since I first had that meeting with Jane in the drawing room I had always called her Jane instead of Miss Eyre, it was a habit I have had many years. I can't help but notice that even though I address her by her name she still calls me 'Sir'.

"Miss Eyre? And how old is she?"

"She is but 18 years of age but I can see improvement in Adele already."

"18? Ah what would I do to be 18 again! Remember the time eh Edward?"

"Don't I just Eshton!"

We both laughed at our remembrance of our younger years. I could not waste any more time with Eshton. Eshton and I parted with a pat on the back and a hearty handshake. I continued along the road to where my dear mother lay and Eshton headed homeward. Once I had reached the churchyard I opened the gate and went to my mother's graveside. There she was laying in peacefulness away from father. Her headstone engraved with the words 'Elizabeth Marie Fairfax Rochester, beloved wife and mother of two, may she rest in peace for all eternity.' I sat down beside her, hands leaning amidst my knees and my shoulder resting against her headstone. The flowers I had left there last time were all shrivelled and limp. I did not think of bringing her more. But once the summer fell I would restore her grave to how it used to be, before I set away on my travels. Lilies were her favourite flowers. She loved them, and how I love them so! They remind me of her, everything does. The smell of cut grass, the daunting scent of summer falling. "Oh mother! I am sorry I have not seen you earlier! I have neglected you I am sorry. I told you of Bertha didn't I? Yes, yes I did, I remember. Oh mother she is becoming worse and now I have a new governess for Adele, Miss Eyre. She is my closest friend but I fear I may be falling in love with her, and she has no idea of my feelings. I know she does not feel the same way. What am I to do?" I rested my head in my hands. I felt a cool breeze wisp past me. I heard my mother's voice. She was calling! Calling out to me! 'Mother?' I called. I was surprised to hear her speak to me.

"Edward, you are lawfully married, you must do what is right and leave this girl alone! You must not hurt this poor girl's heart if you find that she loves you."

"Oh mother!"

"I am always here for you, Edward. But you must do what is right."

"Mother I will!"

"Goodbye Edward, until another day has set."

And with this her voice was no longer heard. Mother had reached out to me! Told me what is right. She had never done that before. Was this the start of something supernatural? That could not be explained? Well I knew one thing for sure; I could not explain what had just transpired, or how she called to me, but I knew I must trust her and do what is right. I kissed my mothers gravestone and headed towards the path back into the centre of Millcote where Mesrour still stood. I saddled Mesrour and we headed homeward. Back to Thornfield once more. Where my darling Jane was in residence.

The more I thought of her the more I could not catch my breathe. I had never felt this way before, but I knew it felt right. My heart told me so. I felt a new warmth of passion fill up my heart. She was my weakness, but I had yet to learn hers. She had not known me long, so I new she could not love me, she considered me but a friend. But in time she would grow to love me. And our bond would be strong. There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. To the world she may be one person, but to me she is my world. If I cannot tell her how I feel I will express it in words of love.


	4. The past unleashed

I did not return home until late that evening. Around eightish I think. I took Mesrour to the stables; he was in need of some rest. I left Mesrour and returned to the house. I entered through the main entrance hall. All was deserted. No one was about; but I was hardly surprised as it was getting late. I was hungry but could find Leah no where. I decided to make some food for myself and take it into my study. I entered the kitchen and quickly grabbed some freshly made white bread and slathered it thickly with homemade butter. I would have liked a cup of coffee but thought a glass of whisky would do just the same. I would have to go to my study for that. I exited the kitchen whilst eating my slice of bread and quickly rushed up the stairs to my study. Once there I went over to the cabinet where I kept my carefully selected finest accompaniment of wines and whiskeys.

I took a whiskey glass from the sideboard and carefully filled it half full with Irish whiskey. No half will not do. A full glass should do the trick. I poured again until my glass was full. I took my glass to my desk and I sat down in my study chair. Oh what a relief! To sit in this comfortable leather backed chair. I had been travelling all day and needed some time to myself. I finished my bread and started on my whisky. I remembered what mother had said to me 'You must do what is right' and that I would do. I can not let my affections for Jane continue. I must send her away so she does not get hurt by me, or at least of all Bertha. But how could I find an excuse to send her away? This needed careful planning. I threw back the remaining contents of my glass and stood up to retire to my chamber. As I was approaching the long gallery I heard footsteps nearby. Oh god please do not let it be Bertha!

"Monsieur Rochester!"

"Oh, Adele!?"

"I thought I heard a noise coming from Miss Jane's chamber!"

"What kind of noise?"

"Je ne sais pas."

"Come Adele, back to bed now."

I escorted Adele back to the nursery and made sure she fell asleep before I left her to go and investigate.

As I exited the nursery I heard a kind of scratching noise coming from the direction of Jane's chamber. I quickened my pace. What if Jane was in some sort of danger? In some sort of trouble? Oh please don't let anything have happened to my dear Jane! As I approached nearer and nearer to Jane's chamber I realised that Pilot was making the noises. He was trying desperately to enter into Jane's chamber. I heard Jane moving about in her chamber, she came and opened the door. I quickly stepped back into the shadows. I heard her slight voice exclaim with a slight chuckle:

"Pilot! You don't belong here go back to your master!"

I hesitated for a moment then quickly called to Pilot.

"Pilot, come here!"

He quickly approached me and I heard Jane's chamber door close. Thank god nothing worse happened. Thank god she was safe. With this thought I could now happily and soundly rest. I entered my bedchamber and quickly undressed. I folded my clothes and placed them on the chair next to the table close to my bed. I quickly and carefully slid under the covers to humbly rest. It was not long before I was in a deep slumber.

I was dreaming…dreaming of Jane. She was coming towards me. Slowly. She took my face in her hands. Her skin so soft like silk. She pulled my face closer to her and gently, passionately brushed her lips against mine. Deeper in passion the lingering kiss became. My hands came to her waist, then to her hips. Her arms glided around my neck. I never wanted this moment to end. She pulled away from me and rested her head on my shoulder and gently whispered into my ear. 'Edward, I love you…'

I started to awake. I could see a light shining in my chamber. It must be day. I carefully opened my eyes as adjusting to the light. I rose up from my bed and rubbed my eyes. No one had entered my chamber so how could the light be entering. I rose out of bed and put on my dressing gown. I walked over to my window and noticed when I retired for sleep I had not drawn the curtains fully closed so the morning light was seeping through the gap. I looked at the clock on the mantelpiece it was but only six o'clock. An hour earlier than usual but I would have more time to plan a way for Jane to leave. Oh why did I have to wake from heaven? Why is it Jane torments me in my sleep this way? I always knew she was a witch from the first moment we met in Hay Lane, she knows she torments me and loves seeing me suffer. Oh that witch! I chuckled to myself at this little teasing thought.

John was nowhere to be seen so I approached my daily morning routine myself. I quickly shaved and dressed. I put on a crisp white linen shirt, dark brown breeches and matching waistcoat, my matching brown cravat and black boots. I quickly tussled my black scraggy curls and dressed in my overcoat to complete my days outfit. It was not my best outfit but one that I did love. It was recently new, only bought a few months ago. I remember purchasing it in France. I quickly looked in the mirror which hung over the fireplace then exited to the kitchen for breakfast.

There I found Mrs Fairfax bustling about doing household chores and Leah preparing some breakfast.

"Good morning Leah, Mrs Fairfax"

"Good morning Mr Rochester. There seems to be some post for you I will leave it in your study, Sir."

"Thank you Mrs Fairfax."

As Mrs Fairfax bustled out Leah turned to me in a joyful mood.

"Good Morning, Sir"

She took me gently by the arm and seated me at the kitchen table.

"What would you like for breakfast this morning Sir?"

"Hmm…I'm in the mood for eggs."

"Excellent. I shall prepare some eggs, bacon and black pudding! Just the way you like it."

"Oh excellent Leah as always. Oh and do I hear a mention of…ground coffee?"

"You certainly do Sir!"

"Anything to keep me happy eh, Leah!?"

"Well I do like to please!"

Leah and I both began to laugh. I drifted off slowly and my gentle laugh eventually ceased and a smile spread across my face.

Leah soon had my breakfast on the table. I took time in eating it this morning; I wanted to savour every mouthful as I knew I wouldn't have this for breakfast in a while. It was more of a treat. Leah always looked at what I ate so I had a good stabled, balanced diet. I was near finished when Leah set my cup of coffee on the table. Ah! Coffee! I finished the rest of my breakfast and threw back my cup of coffee.

"Leah, that was most pleasant. I enjoyed it thoroughly as always!"

"Glad you enjoyed it, Sir."

I was about to walk to the door when Leah stopped me.

"Oh. Mr Rochester!"

"Yes?"

"Is it possible for me to have a leave of absence for a few days? I wish to visit a friend down in Morton. I met her at the boarding school you sent me to when you took care of me."

"Of course you can Leah, and if you ever want your friend here she is welcome to stay. When will you be going?"

"I'm not sure yet, in a month or two?"

"I wish you well on your travels Leah."

I gently kissed her on the cheek.

"Thank you Mr Rochester!"

And with that Leah cleaned up my dishes and I went in search of Jane. I remembered mine and Jane's last talk. Funny really. I had asked her if she thought me handsome. She quickly turned and replied 'No, Sir!" I laughed and I think she felt a bit embarrassed. I told her if I was worth £20 thousand pounds would it make me more handsome and she just faintly replied 'It is the person inside that counts, not the outer shell.' I was not surprised at this as I new she would have some noble reply. She was more clear sited than my former mistress Celine. Celine only liked me for what I was worth. But it didn't matter to Jane that I had money and she didn't, she didn't think me handsome despite my wealth. This didn't hurt me as my brother Rowland was always known as the handsomer of the two of us. But now I wanted to sought out Jane and tell her of my disastrous months with my former ex mistress Celine Varens, also known as Adele's mother.

I could find Jane nowhere, I looked in the nursery, the drawing room and the kitchen and she was nowhere to be found. I thought she must be in the gardens somewhere. I walked through the back entrance and started towards the river bank in the gardens as I often saw Jane sitting there from my study window. The smell of the freshly cut grass, spring was a luxurious time of year. I gently strolled the gardens until I reached the river bank. But Jane wasn't there. Where must she be? I did not know. I decided to sit by the river for a while and look for any insects that might interest me. It was a good thing I brought my telescope. I sat down by the river bank under a small tree. I had not been sitting long when I noticed a dragon fly on one of the plants near the bank. I rose to take a closer look. As it was so close I did not need my telescope so I set it down near where I sat. Two minutes passed when great warmth whisped across my skin. Jane? It must be Jane. She must be near. I only ever felt that way when she was close to me. I could not be sure so I called out.

"Jane, come and look at this fellow!"

It was not long before she had come close to my side to see the dragon fly. I knew she loved nature so I began to talk about the dragonfly.

"I've seen one like this in the West Indies, but never here."

She glanced up at me and smiled. Not a word from her delicate lips.

I bid her to sit down with me a while by the oak tree. I walked over and sat down; she delicately placed herself on the grass beside me. How beautiful she was against the green grass, the reflections off the river, and her pale face in the sunlight. It made my heart just melt and my soul shiver in anticipation to touch her.

I would tell her of Celine and how I came to be the guardian to Adele. I decided to tell her because it was one sunny summer afternoon when I was taking Adele for a biology lesson by the river. I had ordered Mrs Fairfax, Adele's helper from France Sophie, and Jane to follow along. We were sitting down when Adele was starting to get bored. She sat back on the blanket were Jane sat. I thought a little playful teasing of both Adele and Jane was in order as I was in quite a happy, playful mood that day. I was explaining to Adele about a firebird that was at Thornfield; but instead of describing a bird I started to describe Jane in parts of the 'narrative' if you would call it that. Jane noticed this immediately being the intelligent girl that she is. Girl? She's not a girl she's a woman, a young intelligent, sophisticated woman. How stupid of me. Anyway, Jane picked up on this but Adele didn't. I didn't think she would. I smiled at Jane as she looked my way. Adele had by now wandered off to Mrs Fairfax and Sophie to get some luxuries from the picnic basket. I remember she said to me 'you mustn't tease, she's just a child.' She said it with such kindness and caring ness. From that moment I could tell she did care about Adele more than any other governess would. Reason two? I wanted to tell her because I wanted her to know of my past life and why I am the way I am.

I remembered what she said distinctly and wanted to tease her…yet again, but not so she would get angry at me. I couldn't bare the thought of Jane being angry at me, it would tear me apart.

"That'll teach me to tease Adele!" I gave a slight smile and a chuckle.

"I want to tell you about her, where she came from and whom she belongs to…"

"Sir, you do not have to tell me anything."

"I know, but you'll understand too much without me saying anything."

I knew she didn't want to pry, but I wanted to tell her, to tell her about me and my past life so she could know me better; love me for who I truly am.

I told her of those few months with Celine. Celine my French dancer, my mistress. I told Jane of how she only 'loved' me for my money. How I caught her in a liaison with another man, a navy officer I believe, the Vicomte. I told Jane the jealousy that bit into my heart, and the anger that I felt. She understood me; she listened

"It was a regular night I had some luck playing cards with the other gentlemen. I had hired out a suite of rooms for Celine after courting her for a year. I decided to finish early and pay her a visit. I knew that she wasn't there; she would be performing at the theatre. I sat in the corner in the shadows and waited for her approach. It was getting late so I proceeded to the balcony to see if I could catch a glimpse of her. As I looked out a carriage pulled up at the hotel, I saw a small hooded figure step out. I knew it was her, but what I didn't expect was a tall fair haired man to follow after her. She held his hand and pulled him along inside. I could hear their voices outside in the hallway, but I stood on the balcony, hidden, shaded by the delicate lace hanging. Celine entered with the Vicomte and started to talk about me and my money, and how ugly I was compared to a French man. All she could utter was that I wasn't so bad for £20 thousand pounds."

I finished my narrative of the situation.

"You do not know what it is to feel jealousy do you Jane? Because you have never loved."

I wanted to see what her response was, and to my surprise she simply replied

"No, Sir."

"Do you still love her Sir?"

"Who?"

"Celine...I mean Miss Varens?"

"Good, God no!"

Why would my dear Jane think I was still in love with Celine? Couldn't she see I was in love with her? She just smiled at me. That sweet, innocent smile that made my heart melt inside.

"And Adele?" She had asked.

"She left her in the hotel room when she ran off. A parcel with a label on, with my name. She claimed that I was the father but a, careful elementary study in biology would prove that impossible. Tell me Jane, now be truthful, does Adele motley resemble me? Look at me carefully now."

She glanced at me then turned her head to where Adele sat on the other side of the river on the river bank. Then turned to me and replied.

"No, Sir."

She even broke out a small smile. I hesitated for a moment. Should I respond to that? No, I can't let my feelings get the better of me.

"She left her in the hotel. I couldn't leave her there to starve. I provided for her wellbeing in France and then six months ago I thought it best to bring her here. I didn't want Adele growing up to become like her mother."

"You did the right thing Sir." She gently placed her hand on my arm and gave a sympathetic smile.

I quickly arose and walked away from her. Walking away from my dearest Jane; the one I love. I started to walk back inside not daring to look back at her in case she was watching me. Then my love for her would be revealed.

I quickly returned to the house and as I did not care for anything to eat I retired straight to my chamber. I threw off my boots and overcoat and sat down at the table. I decided I would go to Ingram Park for the party; Eshton must have alerted them of my presence as an invite for the party came but a few days later. I needed to be away from Jane for a while to think. I also needed to confide in Eshton about Jane as I knew he would understand. Eshton was already at Ingram Park and I had told him I would be going to the party so I'm sure he would have told Lady Ingram and Blanche that I would be attending. How I feared to see Blanche! Why does she still chase me? Well best not to think of Blanche right know its doing me no good.

I had promised myself I would write my feelings for Jane on paper, so, that I did. I sought out my writing paper and pencil and began to write.

_**If I could have just one wish,  
I would wish to wake up everyday**_

_**  
To the sound of your breath on my neck,  
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,**_

_**  
The touch of your fingers on my skin,  
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...**_

_**  
Knowing that I could never find that feeling  
with anyone other than you.**_

The writing came to me so naturally. It was as if my heart was writing down how I felt; from deep within my soul. I folded this poem in half and placed it in the draw. I pulled out another sheet of paper and started to write again.

_**Your lips speak soft sweetness  
Your touch a cool caress  
I am lost in your magic  
My heart beats within your chest**_

_**I think of you each morning  
And dream of you each night  
I think of your arms being around me  
And cannot express my delight**_

_**Never have I fallen  
But I am quickly on my way  
You hold a heart in your hands  
That has never before been given away**_

I had never been able to do this before; express my feelings. I carefully folded this poem as I did the other and placed it in the draw next to the other. I placed the rest of my writing paper and pencil in the draw. I made sure that the casement hangings were fully closed and I lay on my bed. I had not yet undressed and was not under my covers, I just wanted to think. I could have written more on that paper but it grew late and I needed my rest if I was to travel to Ingram Park in the morning. I rolled onto my back with my shirt buttons undone. I lay thinking of Jane, trying to come up with a plan for her to leave me somehow. But I could not, no matter how hard I had tried. I began to grow tired and it was not long before I was in a deep, peaceful sleep.


	5. The surprise

My peaceful sleep was suddenly disturbed. Water was thrown over my face. I quickly opened my eyes to see what it was. I saw Jane standing there, holding a pitcher of water – that must have been what she had thrown over me to wake me. My bed was on fire! I quickly rose from my bed and started to extinguish the fire with the bedclothes and drapes that were hanging nearby. Jane was still throwing pitchers of water over the fire. Soon the fire was extinguished. I stood back were Jane stood, quiet, close to me. I feared for her. I must know if she is hurt. I quickly turned to her I grabbed her and pulled her close to me.

"Jane, are you hurt?"

"No, Sir!"

I was still clinging to her, laying her head on my shoulder. What was I doing? I had let my love for her take over me. Now she would know my secret love for her. I carefully pulled away from her. She still clinged to me. She lifted her head up to mine and she moved closer to me. My heart was beating rapidly. I began to feel hot. My heart burning, aching for her love.

I must control myself. I cannot. I must do what is right. I could feel her small slight frame pressing against mine. My heart now raging with passion. I put my hand on her waist and pulled her close to me. Her hands came up around my neck. Oh, the touch of her skin on mine, soft like silk. I carefully moved my lips towards her, they brushed against her lips, she responded to my kiss. So delicately soft. Edward! I cannot do this to Jane. I already have a wife still living I cannot do this to Jane; if she found out all hope of her love for me would be lost. I moved my lips away from hers and gently pulled back away from her.

"Oh Jane! Forgive me."

"Sir, do not be sorry for what I have acted upon also."

"I shouldn't have done that Jane."

"But even so, I should not have responded."

"Lets sit down for a while Jane, I see you are cold and need warming up."

I carefully sat her down on the sofa nearest to the fire. I went over to my chair and took the dressing gown which lay there. I returned to where Jane sat and I carefully slipped the dressing gown over her slight shoulders.

"Are you warm enough Jane?"

"I am very warm thank you Sir."

I sat on the seat beside her and just gazed at her slight and delicate frame.

"Sir, you examine me?"

She noticed. What am I to do? Should I tell her of my passionate and undying love for her, or simply cast it off as a mistake? I tried to speak but no words escaped my lips. She sat and turned towards me with a look that was saying 'I am waiting?'

I turned my body so I was facing directly at her. I took her hands in mine.

"Jane. I have loved you from the moment I first met you in that road in Hay Lane. But I feared you did not feel the same until just moments ago when you kissed me. Do you love me Jane?"

"Sir, I have loved you since that moment you told me of Miss Varens. And when you held me tonight I felt your warmth, could feel your love."

Oh my darling Jane. She did feel the same about me. I loved her and she loved me. But I fear I love her more than she does me. But in time she would learn to love me more. The love that I breathe for her. I took her in my arms and embraced her. She carefully laid her head in my breast. I could feel her breath on my chest of my unbuttoned shirt. I kissed her head of long, glossy chestnut brown locks. Long hair that trailed down her back. Why did she not wear her hair down? It didn't matter to me she was beautiful any way she had her hair. We sat for what seemed like a year but only an hour just cradling each other in each others arms.

"Jane, I must find out what has happened here."

"Sir?"

"Call me Edward Jane."

"Edward."

I could see her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. She must have been embarrassed of me asking her to call me Edward.

"Why do your cheeks turn pink Jane?"

"Because you asked me to call you by your given name…Edward, and no one has ever asked me to do that before. It feels so different"

"Well Jane, I like to treat you as though you are my equal not as a governess."

"Edward I think I may know who did this."

"You do?"

I began to panic. She couldn't know about Bertha could she? But if she did she would not have confessed her love for me. That would be wrong for her to do so; she looks in the eyes of god.

She began to tell me of how she came to appear in my bed chamber.

"I heard noises outside my door I thought it was Pilot and went to see him away. I took my candle and opened the door but Pilot wasn't there. The noises continued and I approached the corridor. I heard a laugh. It was a very strange one that echoed through the walls. I heard bolts of doors and then another echoing laugh. I started to walk quicker and approached your bed chamber. I knocked but there was no reply and upon entering I saw your bed in a mass of flames!"

"Jane, did you see anything? Anyone?"

"No."

"Jane go back to bed. The servants will be up in an hour or two. I will sort this entire thing out."

"I fear it was…Grace Poole Sir."

"Yes. She is a singular sort of person and accidents happen. I will consult her later."

"Yes."

"Now, get some rest, you will need it."

And with that she planted a soft, lingering kiss to my lips and returned to her chamber. How relieved I was. Jane, my darling bird felt for me. It was only small but at least she felt something for me which could…would grow in time. I knew I was not handsome and she could not love me but now I remember that day I asked her if I was handsome and I solemnly remember her reply. 'It's inside a person that counts, not the outer shell.' And I did truly believe it. She did not think me handsome but she loved me for me and not my money. But I would not see her tomorrow. Oh my pretty bird. I would be going to the party with Eshton to Ingram Park. I had not told her. What would she think of me if I suddenly left her? I will think of this later but first I must venture up to the North Tower in search of Grace.

On entering Bertha's inner room of the North Tower I saw Grace slumped over her chair with a bottle of Finest Scotch Whiskey in her hand. I turned to were Bertha's bed was, there she sat up in her bed with a smug grin on her face. I nudged Grace; she quickly awoke and dropped the bottle to the floor.

"Grace!"

"Sir? I…err……."

"Bertha has been roaming about the corridors again Grace and she has nearly killed me in my bed by setting it alight."

"Sir! I am sorry I will keep an eye on her."

"Miss Eyre had noticed the fire and woke me and we put the fire out. Now I cannot tell Miss Eyre of Bertha. If the servants ask what has happened just simply tell them that I was reading in bed and left a candle burning but I awoke before any real harm was done."

"Yes, Sir"

"You best keep a sharp eye on her Grace; I do not want her roaming about. Or do I need to find another nurse for her?"

"No, Sir! I can handle her."

"Good. How is she?"

"She seems fine Sir, but be very careful Sir, she has been roaming about and I do not know what objects she may have been accessible to."

I walked over to Bertha who had now rose from the bed and sat on the chair by her dressing table. I stood before her and she looked up at me.

"Where is my daughter? What have you done with her? She is mine and she needs her mother."

"Bertha, she is fine, she is safe. I am looking after her for you. Remember when you were taken ill she was left in my care?"

"Yes, that's right. How old is she now?

"She is 20."

"20. And how does she look. Is she beautiful?"

"Yes Bertha, she is very beautiful just like her mother."

Bertha looked away and smiled. I could tell she had become shy as I had referred to her as beautiful. Since her insanity had appeared she often became shy in front of me or Grace, but that sometimes turned into violence. Beautiful she had been but know she had aged and her face was no longer beautiful and happy, but sad and crinkled.

"When can I see her Edward? She needs her mother."

"You will see her soon enough Bertha and she is doing fine by herself. Now I must leave you I need rest."

"Ok."

I turned to Grace and gave her a slight nod.

"Thank you Grace. I will be going away for 2 weeks; I'm attending a party at Ingram Park. I trust you can take care of her? Keep her confined while I'm away?"

"Yes, Sir. I will do my best."

"Very well."

I had seen to Bertha and Grace and now returned to my chamber where the bed and hangings were soaked through and a pool of water lay on the floor. Bertha had suddenly seemed interested in Leah. After all these years she had never thought once about her, so why now? Leah had never known her mother or her father. It was 5 years before I met Bertha that she met a man William. She had courted him for 2 years and then Leah was born. Bertha and William did not marry but instead he ran off with Bertha's friend Maria. Bertha was heartbroken and left with a child. She supported the child for 5 long years and was left alone not to venture out into the social circles of her father and brother Richard. No one new of her daughter except her family. I met Bertha a few months after Leah's fifth birthday and as you know I married her. But only because of father's greed and love of money. I thought I loved her but in my heart I did not…I could not. I helped Bertha look after the child. I did not care that she was not of mine. When Bertha's illness started to become clear to me I brought her here along with the child – Leah. I locked Bertha away in the North Tower with Grace. But Leah, I did not know what actions to take. So, I took her under my roof and cared for her. I sent her off to school where she was taught sewing, reading, and writing and also cooking – which she was excellent at. After Leah was able to return home I asked if she would like to attend a school in London but she didn't want to be away from me, so at the age of 15 she started to work at Thornfield as a cook; this was her chosen decision and I had to accept it.

She has no idea of who her parents really are. She believes that they both died when she was a baby and that she was left in my care. She believes I was a family friend. She has no idea of my marriage to Bertha and that I am her step father. All she knows is that I was willing to care for her when no one else would. Leah and I have always been very close. One day I would tell her of whom her mother really was and who she belongs to but at this moment I can not tell her; for Bertha's sake and for Leah's.

I would be leaving for Ingram Park in a matter of hours. I had Bertha and Leah to think about and now Jane. Oh, My Jane. I sat on the side of the sofa where Jane had sat. Her scent of jasmine still lingered in the air. I would be leaving soon. I would not see my darling Jane for a fortnight. I missed her already. I was tempted to go to her bed chamber but I contained myself. I have been selfish. Although Jane has consented for my love to her and her love for me I cannot do this to her. I must send her away. I cannot…I will not break her heart. I am a married man with a step child. She would leave me if I told her so I cannot tell her. She must leave of her own accord. She deserves so much better than me. I am a greedy, selfish man. I must devise a plan for her to leave me.

I sat for several minutes thinking hard of a way for Jane to leave me. But, I could not. I would be away from her for a fortnight surely I would have a plan by then. But know I must ready myself for my journey to Ingram Park. I rose from the sofa and approached my wardrobe. I chose my morning's outfit and carefully dressed. I chose a white linen shirt and navy waistcoat, matching navy breeches and black coat and black riding boots. I went over to the mirror and carefully shaved and tussled with my hair making it flat and neat. I was now ready for the coming day.

John came in my chamber to wake me.

"Sir? What has happened here?"

I thought it best if no one new of how Jane had saved me from an inferno. So I told John of what I had told Grace to also explain about what had happened.

"I was reading in bed and left my candle burning and I must have fallen asleep, but gladly I awoke before any real harm was done."

"O Sir! Thank goodness nothing worse happened."

"It's alright John just get Mrs Fairfax in here and some of the housemaids to sort out this mess."

"Yes Sir."

"Is my luggage ready for the journey to Ingram Park?"

"Yes Sir, I readied most of it last night."

"Good. I shall be leaving at around eightish."

"Yes Sir. I shall tell Mrs Fairfax."

"Thank you John."

John left in search of Mrs Fairfax and I followed right behind searching for Leah in the kitchen.

Leah was once again in the kitchen. I crept up behind her and tickled her sides.

"Mr Rochester!"

She was in fits of laughter. I stopped tickling her I didn't want to tease her and I was hungry and wanted Leah to make me something.

"Good Morning Leah!"

"Oh, Mr Rochester you are a devil."

I saw a huge smile spread across her lips. She was not angry at me she knew I was only teasing her as I did most mornings. I had always felt a special connection between us even when she was a child. And it grew stronger each day.

"Have you prepared me a magnificent breakfast?"

"That I have indeed Mr Rochester! How does some toast sound with my homemade honey, lemon and orange jam on, with a blueberry scone and a mug of ground coffee?"

"That sounds delicious Leah."

"Glad so. It'll just take two minutes so read the paper while you wait. It arrived this morning."

"Ok, thanks Leah."

I sat and read the local paper that came from Millcote each week. As Leah had already informed me it had arrived this morning. There was not much in it, it was pretty boring but I only had to pretend like I was reading it for a few more minutes and my superb gentleman's breakfast would be served. I was right a few minutes later and I was eating my toast and drinking my coffee. It was splendid.

"Leah, that was splendid. And that jam was exquisite!"

"Why, thank you Sir. I am glad you enjoyed it."

"I did more than enjoy it Leah."

She gave me a crafty smile. I gave her my dishes from my breakfast and went to my study. I had but half an hour before I set off on my journey to Ingram Park. My luggage was to be taken to Ingram Park by carriage but I was to ride up on Mesrour. I usually rode Mesrour with Pilot but as I was attending a party Pilot would have to stay here at Thornfield. I had some papers I needed to sift through before I set off and I needed to come to terms with the idea that I had to get Jane to leave me or I would leave her heart broken. As I thought this I heard my mother's voice in my head. 'You must do what is right!' And that was what I was setting out to do.


	6. The departure and arrival

There was a loud knock on my study door.

"Come in!" I shouted.

To my surprise John stepped in. I half expected it to be Mrs Fairfax.

"Yes John?"

"The coach is ready Sir; we're all ready for your departure this morning Mr Rochester."

"Thank you John. I shall be right down."

John quickly hastened downstairs and soon followed ready for my departure to Ingram Park. How could thirty minutes have passed by so quickly? It seemed only more like five, but I knew I would have to leave sooner or later. To leave my dear Jane behind, for a fortnight. I do not want to leave my little bird! Why did I tell Eshton I would be attending? I must tell Jane of my departure! I cannot abandon her, what would she think of my actions? Would she think I have left her to roam the world once more – without her? But there was no time to tell her! I must depart. The carriage was outside waiting as John had said. My luggage was strapped on and Mesrour was ready to be saddled.

An hour I had been travelling since and started to grow tired and weary. I had not much sleep after last night's performances. First my bed in a mass of flames, and then Jane confessing her love to me, and now Bertha wanting to see Leah! How am I to deal with several things at once? Why is my life such a burden to me? What am I to do about Bertha? Am I to tell Leah about Bertha – her mother? Or am I to tell Bertha that she cannot see Leah? My mind so full of questions, where there holds no answers to. Answers! I need answers; I must find answers to these questions. But how? My mind must make the right decisions; I must follow my internal instincts as to what my head and my heart are telling me to do. Leah is now 20, she has no family outside of Thornfield, she has no husband and yet her whole life has been one miserable lie. One which I have cast upon her. If I think about it now Leah and my Jane are not all too different. Both Jane and Leah know nothing about their parents, they are both poor, they are of similar age, and they have never loved. Apart from the exception that Jane has now found her love at long last. But both Jane and Leah grew up in a school - Leah's being considerably more managed than Jane's tortured one. How could I have not noticed this similarity beforehand? I wish to keep Jane with me and Leah. All of us together. Where Bertha cannot harm us. When I return from the house party I will inform Leah of her past life of who here parents really are, and then I will take my Jane and keep her with me forever.

All the while I was thinking this I had drawn nearer and nearer to Ingram Park, I was now only ten minutes away. How I dreaded this house party! But I wished to see Eshton – immediately! Those ten minutes passed by fairly quickly. I was now just arrived at Ingram Park and awaiting a greeting from the former owners. My luggage had been taken up to my chamber and Mesrour was resting in the stables. I was standing in the lower gallery when Lord Ingram approached me. Lord Ingram was tall, very broad shouldered and had small delicate green eyes. His once jet black hair now turned a lightest shade of white sat neatly and carefully combed on his head.

"Edward! How wonderful to see you at last! We were not sure if you would be back from your travels in time for the house party, but Eshton informed me you had arrived back and would be joining us."

"Hello, Lord Ingram, I am glad to be back. I hope my arrival has not disturbed you."

"Oh no! Not at all Edward, you are the last to arrive. Eshton arrived earlier this morning, and Mr and Mrs Dent have arrived some days ago."

"Well in that case I would like to meet them, let the festivities commence."

Lord Ingram showed me into the Drawing Room. I immediately noticed Eshton who was seated somewhat nearest the door on the other side of the room. Also sitting near was Amy and Louisa Dent and Mary Eshton. They where all conversing about science and animals and such like. Mr Dent was standing by the mantel piece also joined by Lady Ingram wife of Lord Ingram who was seated nearest the fireplace. She had quite fine features. A very masculine jaw and chin, huge blue eyes, pink satined lips and dark brown hair tied up secured by pins with wisps of hair flowing round her neck She and Lord Ingram had two daughters. Mary Ingram being the younger of the two. She was very quiet, never really tried to socialise in polite conversation. She looked most like her mother, dark brown hair and masculine jaw and chin. She had inherited her fathers green eyes, so small and delicate. Blanche Ingram. My eyes did not lie; there she was sitting next to her mother by the hearth of the fireplace. Her countenance sweet and flirtatious. She looked neither of her mother or her father. She had long blonde hair up in ringlets, flying all about her face. Huge bold eyes brilliantly black, a straight nose and small lips – a dark shade of pink. She had golden skin and crimson cheeks. Never did she look more beautiful as she was on this day. She wore a satin laced pink frock with a rose secured to the upper section of the frock. Certainly it seemed it was hand picked from the gardens of Ingram Park.

Eshton did not notice me at first he was somewhat engaged in conversation. But after some minutes he arose from his seat nearest the door and approached me.

"Edward!"

"Eshton!"

We both shook hands and walked over to the window. Lord Ingram had by now appeared to be seated by Lady Ingram and his daughters.

"How have you been Eshton old fellow?"

"Wonderful, thank you Edward. What have you been doing?"

"Oh nothing in particular, since the last time you saw me."

I looked out of the window, out towards the gardens. Ingram Parks gardens where very similar to those at Thornfield although Thornfield had a small river at the bottom of the orchard. I saw an oak tree one of which reminded me of the time me and Jane sat by the river and I narrated the story of Celine to her. How patiently and quietly she listened – no judgement. A small smile spread across my face.

"Edward?"  
I did only hear Eshton's voice as a mere echo in my thoughts. I was dreaming…dreaming of her.

Suddenly I felt someone nudge my arm.

"Edward! What has gotten into you?"

"Oh, Eshton I am fine there is no problem."

At that moment Blanche Ingram approached us.

"Edward, so lovely to see you again. Would you care to take a walk with me in the gardens it is a beautiful day."

And a beautiful day it was. But I could not bare the flirtatiousness and seductiveness of Blanche today. I wished to sit in my chamber and think only of her.

"I'm sorry Blanche, not today I don't feel up to it."

I brushed past Blanche and Eshton and exited the Drawing Room. I was approaching the stairs when Eshton came running up behind me.

I quickly turned to face him.

"Edward. You have never turned Blanche away before, is something wrong?"

"No Eshton as I have said I'm fine, never better." I smiled a cunning but sarcastic smile.

"I know you've never liked Blanche but you've never brushed her off before! Something's wrong Edward I know it! And you don't seem to want to be here. Even your mind is elsewhere. And I'm going to find out!"

"Eshton don't trouble yourself, there's no point."

I smiled a quick glance at Eshton and continued on my way to my chamber. I knew which chamber my luggage was located as every time I stayed here I had that same chamber. Once entered, I locked my door took of my boots and lay sprawled on the red satin covered sofa. I lay my head back on the comfy cushions, closed my eyes and dreamt.


	7. Unpleasantries

By the time I had awoken it was early evening. I glanced over to the clock on the mantle. It had just struck six o'clock. Supper is at seven, I must dress and ready myself for the dreaded evening yet to come. I quickly changed into my dining outfit. This was very simple, black breeches, waistcoat and a crisp white linen shirt and jacket. I carefully slipped on my boots and walked over to the mirror. I stood for several minutes just looking at the horrid, reflection staring back at me. This was Edward Fairfax Rochester? Why did I appear so exhausted? It must have been the travelling here this morning. I saw that my basin was freshly filled with cool water. I splashed it on my face and wet my hair as to appear more appealing and fresh. I tousled with my hair for several minutes, making sure it was presentable. After once again checking my reflection I assured myself that I was looking presentable and made my way downstairs to the dining room. As I approached through the door I saw that Eshton, Mary, Amy and Louisa were seated on the far end of the table whilst Lady Ingram, Blanche and Mary and Mr and Mrs Dent were seated nearer the doorway where I had now entered. Lord Ingram was seated at the end of the table at the far side nearer the rear window panes and there I saw was a place set for me beside Eshton. I started towards my seat and sat beside Eshton.

"Edward, where have you been all afternoon?"

"I have been resting in my chamber. Why has Blanche been worried about me?"

I said this with a sarcastic smile.

"Now that you mention it she has Edward, and she was very upset that you rejected her."

"I was not in the mood for a walk today Eshton. I will go to her after supper and apologise."

"Good. You know I don't like it when she's angry."

"I know Eshton."

He gave a sardonic smile.

That evening supper consisted of Norwegian Soup served with Vienna Bread, a succulently roasted portion of Roast Yorkshire Lamb served with freshly baked potatoes and freshly picked vegetables. It was succulent. After, a gorgeous Syllabub Pudding was served. The whole meal was sensational. I may not like Blanche Ingram and her mother but what a magnificent cook they have! Maybe I could persuade her to work at Thornfield? But on second thought no, Leah would get jealous easily. Best not to cause arguments now. After that delightful supper we all sojourned to the Drawing Room for entertainment. I of course was standing by the hearth of the fireplace accompanied by Eshton. Lady Ingram was seated on the chaise lounge nearest to me also accompanied by Blanche and Mary. Lord Ingram and Mr Dent were in deep conversation nearest the door. And I cannot quite recall where Amy and Louisa were placed.

I looked quickly over to Blanche and she cast a small smile. I thought now the time to apologise.

"My dear Blanche, would you accompany me for a walk this evening."

"Why of course Edward, as it is such a fine night.

"Do excuse us Eshton, Lady Ingram, Mary."

I nodded my head and placed my hand before Blanche so that she may take it. She did willingly and accordingly. We slowly descended from the Drawing Room and were soon walking through Ingram Park's wonderful gardens.

"Do forgive me dear Blanche for my earlier refusal of a walk. I had been travelling all morning and needed some rest and refreshment."

"It is perfectly understandable Edward, although I would prefer you would just explain to me rather than be so stern."

"Forgive me dearest Blanche."

"I do Edward. Now tell me about your travels, and what has kept you away from me and mama so long?"

"My dear Blanche, I have been travelling throughout France these past few months. It is a wonderful country as you should know having visited there. It was but a few months ago when I returned and I had some business to attend with regarding some new staff. I have hired a governess."

"A governess? What in the name for?

"For my ward Adele."

"Your ward? I did not know of this!"

"Well she has only recently resided with me in this past year, while I have been on my travels."

"I see. And where did you pick her up?"

"I didn't pick her up she was left in my hands."

Blanche looked at me wearily; I thought it best to change the subject matter in question. Having told Blanche of my recent travels, about the weather and general interests it was growing late and I decided I would retire to my chamber.

"Forgive me again Blanche but, it grows quite late and I am in need of rest again, I fear I will retire to my chamber. We will have to leave our discussion until another time"

"Yes I grow restless. Would you please escort me to my chamber? Or at least back into the house?"

"Of course."

Blanche took my arm in hers and we continued toward the house. As soon as we entered I escorted Blanche to the Parlour and retired to my chamber. I had no desire to retire for the night, I was not tired and it was but only ten o'clock. I just couldn't be with Blanche. Her flirtatious smiles and sudden glances. She was a beauty I have to agree with that. But she was heartless. Her heart was made of stone, she was stubborn, spoilt and most of all she was just like her mother…vain. She reminded me of Celine; I just couldn't put myself through that again, not with her sort. She didn't love me; she only loved my money and my estate. All her flirtatious smiles and seductive advances were being wasted. Some other poor fellow would find them more useful than I. All I wanted to think about was my dearest.

I sat in the window seat of my chamber and looked out over the hills and tree tops, to see a lovely full moon surrounded by grey clouds. She, the moon illumined all of my face. She reminded me of Jane. How on that night of the fire, when she saved me, how she shone on Jane and illumined her facial features. How beautiful she was to me. Was Jane thinking of me? The way I was thinking of her? Was she thinking of me at all? Oh God! Help me! I cannot stop thinking of Jane! I have tried but all has failed me! There was silence. I heard my brain tell me 'You must try harder!' "Try harder!" I said this aloud. I must try harder! I will try harder! I must remember what mother has advised me and keep my promise to devise a plan. But not tonight, I would not think of it tonight. I would, on this night think totally of Jane, and hope that she was doing the same of me. It suddenly occurred to me, I had not told Jane of my departure! I had not left her a note, or given her any knowledge of my leaving! What must she think of me? I must reach a letter to her somehow and hope she receives it before I return! Why had I not thought to leave her a note before I departed? Was it because I feared for her love for me, even though she had assured me of her love? I do not know! God, I pray she does not think badly of me, and that she is not angry with me!


	8. The confession

I arose early next morning. Not in any mood to be in any company. I wished to spend my time alone, but I thought that very un-gentlemanly like so decided against it. I washed and dressed in my attire, as was my daily routine and I ventured downstairs for some breakfast. I slowly entered the dining room where I saw only Eshton seated.

"Good morning Edward, how are you this morning?"

"Eshton, I am very well thank you, and yourself?"

"I am quite well. Please do sit with me."

I seated myself in the seat just opposite from Eshton. We had a delightful breakfast. A feast of toast with elderflower jam, portions of fruit and some ground coffee. Truly delicious. We sat in silence most of the time throughout breakfast. Until the silence was broke by Eshton.

"Have you any plans today Edward?"

"No, but I thought I might go for a ride as it is such a fine morning."

"What a marvellous idea! Do you mind if I accompany you?"

"Not at all Eshton, it's always a pleasure my friend."

After our breakfast we ordered the stable boy for our horses to be saddled. We had donned our riding outfits and where sitting in the drawing room when Blanche entered with Mary.

"Morning Blanche, Mary."

"Good morning Edward. I see you have already taken breakfast."

"Yes Blanche. Me and Eshton had a fine breakfast thank you."

"Do you care to take a walk in the gardens with me and Mary?"

"Oh my dear Blanche, I am afraid that I have to decline. Me and Eshton are going for a morning ride into town."

"Oh I see. Make sure you return for tea."

I was about to reply but Eshton answered before me.

"We will be here Blanche. Now me and Edward must be going. Good day."

With that me and Eshton left the drawing room and ventured out into the courtyard. It was not long before Eshton and I were riding on the winding paths of the country lanes. It was a beautiful morning. There were only a few clouds in sight and I could see the sun just peering out from the clouds. I could feel the warmth and heat of the sun on my back. If clouds where not present today I think it should be a much finer day, and I should have removed my jacket. I love the English country weather. Always changing. Hardly ever the same from day to day. I loved it, especially in the summer. I can just ride out on Mesrour into the solitary lanes. I remember a few years ago it was a fine summer's day. I rode out on Mesrour with Pilot by my side. I rested near a small lake, with many chestnut trees and rose bushes. I would sit on the bank and dangle my feet into the water to cool myself of the heat burning my back and shoulders. It was then that I would rest under the chestnut tree and dwell on my inner thoughts. I would spend my day there just thinking and I often fell asleep and did not awake until quite late into the afternoon. My pleasant thoughts where then interrupted by Eshton.

"Edward, should we stop and rest awhile by the lake over the hill?"

"Yes. It shall be a pleasant resting place."

Eshton and I bounded away over the hill and up to the lake. It was quite secluded and a wonderful place to think. I unsaddled Mesrour and tied him to a nearby fence. Eshton did the same with his horse. I gently strolled over to a spot in the shade and Eshton followed. We both sat on the warm grass. As I sat there in silence I inhaled the deep aroma of the warm grass. Grass on a summer's day, could summer get any better? There was more silence for a few minutes.

"Edward, are you sure you are well?"

"Yes, perfectly well."

"You haven't seemed yourself since you arrived here."

"What do you mean?"

"Well...you are very quiet and unsociable and ignoring all of Blanche's attempts at seducing you."

"Blanche could never seduce me Eshton. I know she seeks my money."

"I know as well as you Edward…but you have never been this ignorant towards her."

"Well Eshton maybe I have seen the light."

I wished for Eshton to drop the subject but he seemed much more determined to continue on it.

"Something's wrong…I know it."

Had he guessed it? I feared what to reply. I could not think on the spot and so he continued.

"I know something is wrong with you Edward, you forget I have known you since we where children. It's not a case of what's wrong it's a case of who it is that's making you this way."

"What do you mean?"

"A woman is my guess."

I hung my head. I could not reply. My loyal friend had noticed a change in my character and had concluded it was a woman. And a wonderful woman at that.

"Who is she Edward?"

"You do not know of her."

"Then tell me of her. Is she well known in the area, who is her family?"

"She is not well known here, and she is not of our social circle."

"Then…who?"

I could not keep my love for Jane to myself. I felt I needed to tell him, I'm sure he would understand and after all he has been my loyal friend since childhood.

"Here name is Jane. She is Adele's governess."

There I had finally said it. He knew that I had recently employed Jane as Adele's new governess. But he didn't count on her to be my one true love.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes very much. Every time I look at her I fantasize about what out future could bring for us. I love her with all of my being. There are no words to describe how I feel Eshton.

"And does she love you?"

"Yes. I believe she does."

"I am happy for you Edward. Tell me about her, of her family her interests."

"She is 18 and has been in a one Lowood Institution for some eight years since the age of 10. She has no parents and was cast off by her only known Aunt. She has no friends except for I and has not travelled beyond England. She has a lot of the same interests as me. She would like to travel someday and she loves nature and science. I'm sure you would like her very much Eshton."

"I'm sure I would. She sounds like a treasure Edward."

"She is a very rare treasure that I intend to keep by my side always. I shall never lose her."

At this the conversation was dropped. Eshton and I talked for a little while longer about his future plans and where he was to travel to next. I won't bother you with the details as I presume it would be of no interest to you. It had begun to grow late and we had promised Blanche to be back before tea. We once again saddled our horses and began our short journey back to Ingram Park.

I won't go into any details of the journey or of our arrival back at Ingram Park as nothing happened of any significance, that of which I can remember to be important. Apart from one incident that did occur just several minutes before supper. I was in my chamber writing a letter to Jane to explain why I had departed without her knowing. I took out my paper and quill and was set to put quill to paper when there was a small tap on my door. I knew that tap anywhere. Have you guessed yet? Yes you are correct it was Blanche. I opened my door but an inch to see what she wanted.

"Good Evening Edward, may I please come in."

Come in? Why did she suddenly want to enter my chamber? I thought it was quite inappropriate so I stepped out into the hall and closed my chamber door behind me.

"Good evening Blanche, is there anything wrong?"

"No, but i wish to discuss something with you. But not out here."

"I'm sure what you have to say can be said right here, no one is about. What is bothering you?"

"I would like to talk to you in private if you please."

"Well then if you cannot talk to me here, I shall leave you as I have letters to write. If you wish to talk I will meet you in the gardens after supper by the sycamore tree."

Blanche gave me a flirtatious smile. She moved closer to me and brushed her lips against mine. She put her lips to my cheek and gently whispered "don't be late" with that she gently touched my hand and was gone. Walking seductively down the hallway towards her chamber. Why must she tease me so? She must realise I do not love her, for I know she only loves me for my money. She could not compare to my dearest Jane. Her kiss held no passion or love. But the kiss I shared with Jane that night in my chamber after the fire was full of passion and a burning heat for one another. I had never felt that before, it was something I could only experience with Jane. It was her that brought this fire to me that burnt deep within my heart and soul. Oh Jane! I wish to be only at Thornfield, in your presence holding you, kissing you. Jane, come to me now. Tend to this burning fire within me. Tonight supper consisted of a splendid Stewed Trout with cream cheese sauce and an Almond Ginger Bread and afters, coffee. Simply delicious! OK, half an hour after supper and I don't see Blanche anywhere. Could she have gone to the gardens already? This is my time to slip away. After bidding goodnight to Eshton and Lady Ingram I made my way up to the sycamore tree in the garden. As I got further and further towards our 'meeting place' I could see Blanche sitting waiting patiently for me on the nearby benches.

"Good Evening Blanche, you wished to talk with me?"

"Yes Edward I did."

"Well?"

By now she had stood up and was standing directly in front of me.

"Well Edward. Since you have been here you have not spoken but a few words to me…"

Oh here it comes!

"…and Mama and Papa are getting quite upset over it. Have I done something to upset you?"

"No my dear Blanche, you have done nothing."

"Then why do you resist me?"

What would I say? I couldn't simply tell her of Jane. Or could I?

"Blanche…I do…"

No I couldn't tell her! I couldn't bring my self to say it. Only because of the fear she would trick me into some sort of lie. And I was sick of lying to people.

"…you must accept my up most apologies but I fear I am not myself today. Or have been on any other day since my return."

"Edward what's wrong? Are you ill? Can I help?"

"No I am not unwell; at least I do not think I am. I just have some business I need sorting out. I will not trouble you with this. It's not for a woman's ears."

I sat down on the other side of the bench furthest away from Blanche, she came and sat down next to me.

"Oh, my poor Edward!"

She slid across the bench so we were almost touching. She leaned in and kissed my cheek. Ok, now was my cue. I turned my face to hers and gently stroked her cheek with my hand. She kissed me. But I felt nothing. Simply an act of friendliness, but I continued on it. I pressed my lips to hers and my hand slid down to her waist. She leaned into me, like a tigress in the jungle pouncing on her prey. I quickly glanced over to the sky where the moon was no longer shining brightly, but was fading away; as if it was telling me to stop and return to Jane. The clouds began to move across the sky towards the dully lit moon, as if to shield it from harm. I pulled myself away from Blanche.

"Blanche we must go inside now, it grows late."

I stood up and offered her my arm. She took it and we strolled slowly back to the house.

"Our house party is nearly over. I do not wish it to be. I will not see you again for some time."

"I know Blanche, it pains me to see your house full of guests leave your presence for another month or so."

"Maybe you could hold a party at Thornfield?"

A party at Thornfield? What a prefect plan! Blanche whom I despised most had given me a brilliant plan. I would invite all of Blanche's house guests back to Thornfield for a party, I would summon Adele and Jane in the evenings and Jane would see me and Blanche together and be jealous! But how would I get her to leave? I've got it! I would make out to Jane and my other staff that I was to marry Blanche, that way I could send Jane away and keep her from any harm, just as Mother had told me to do. I stopped and turned to Blanche.

"Blanche that is a wonderful idea! I will invite everyone back to Thornfield for a house party!"

"Oh Edward! I'm so excited. It is a long time since I have been to Thornfield. I cannot wait to see it again. It is so very grand."

Blanche and I had arrived back at the house. I escorted her to her chamber and bid her a goodnight.

"Goodnight Blanche."

"Goodnight Edward."

I took Blanche's hand, brought it to my lips and kissed it.

"Have a pleasant night."

"Thank you. I hope you sleep well."

"I'm sure I will Blanche."

We bid each other goodnight and I returned to my chamber. I now had a master plan that would keep me from breaking Jane's heart. I could not bare to know that she would be gone from me forever but I had to! No matter how much I loved her. No matter how I… we, as a pair of true lovers, loved each other. Oh Mother! Give me the strength to continue on with this plan. I know you see it fit as, I look out my chamber window I see that the clouds have removed themselves from the moon, which does not appear dull, but is know shining brightly in the night. She is no longer shielded for protection by the huge white clouds, but she is free. I can now clearly see that she represents the soul of Jane. She is not just the moon which brightens up the black sky at night, but she is a reminder to me of Jane's young soul and that she will always be with me no matter where I am on this earth. Jane truly loves me. We are soul mates.


	9. Little Treasure

The next few days went by as usual. I still had not written a letter to inform Mrs Fairfax of my arrival. And had not yet sent the letter I wrote to Jane. I asked Lord Ingram if I could use his study to write a letter. 'Of course you can my son!' was his reply. I slowly made my way towards Lord Ingram's study.

--

_Dear Mrs Fairfax _

_I will arrive back at Thornfield in one week on Friday with a party of houseguests. I would like you to prepare all of the guest chambers and hire extra staff from the Inn in Millcote. I would like the house to be presentable upon arrival. Lord and Lady Ingram and their two daughters and son are also among the houseguests as well as Eshton, so I would like them to be put in the best guest chambers we have. _

_If you wish you may call upon Miss Eyre to help you with the necessary arrangements and Adele may have a few days away from her studies whilst Miss Eyre assists you._

_I thank you in advance Mrs Fairfax._

_Edward Fairfax Rochester_

_--_

That should do I suppose. I folded the letter and sealed it with a stamp of my initial 'R'. I took it to my chamber and took out Jane's letter also. I ordered for Mesrour to be saddled and began my journey to the post office in the local village. I arrived at the post office within five minutes; it was not very far away. I handed both of my letters to the clerk behind the desk.

"These are to be sent to Thornfield Hall."

"Yes, of course Sir."

"Thank you."

The deed was done. I know hurried out of the post office and into the street. Ah…fresh air. Nothing like fresh air on a lovely Sunday morning. I did not wish to return to Ingram Park just yet so I decided to look around the village.

I turned right at the post office and proceeded down a small lane. After all the times I have visited here I had never been down this lane before. I reached the end of the lane and there I saw a huge village square filled with shops: from bakers' to butchers', from libraries to jewellery shops. Although it was a Sunday it was quite crowded. Perhaps it is a market day? As I was walking down past some shops I stopped at a jewellery shop window. There, I saw this lovely locket. It was breath taking. I made my way into the shop.

"Excuse me, could you tell me about the locket in the window?"

"Yes certainly."

The man took the locket from the window and stood back behind the counter and showed it to me, whilst giving me its history.

"This locket has a hard enamel finish set with the finest Australian crystal. The clasp is fairly easy to use and is sure to be secure. There are three types of lockets: this one in a light shade of pink, Amethyst or a Ruby Red. There is only one other like it in the country."

"It is a breath taking piece of jewellery."

"Yes it is, I do agree."

"How much is the locket?"

"The locket is a mighty price at £75."

"£75? I will take it from you for £70."

"Done!"

I took out my billfold and handed him the £70 for the locket. He carefully wrapped it and placed it inside a pink velvet case secured with white ribbon. Jane will love it!

"May I ask what other rare jewellery you have like this?"

"Certainly Sir, Right this way."

He placed the locket I had just purchased behind the counter and bid me follow him into the back room. He led me down a small and rather dark corridor. We stopped at a wooden oak door and entered. I was very surprised at what I found there. A whole room filled with glass cases of the finest and grandest jewellery. I had never seen this amount of jewellery in my life, I was astounded. The man started looking through the dozens of glass cases until he found what he was looking for. He opened the glass case and brought out a small wooden box.

He produced a key that was in his pocket and slowly unlocked the box. Inside the box was lined with green silk.

"Ah, here we are."

He took out the contents of the box and showed it to me.

"This is another one of our rare jewellery pieces. A handcrafted Topaz Leaves necklace complete with leaves links and topaz Austrian crystal accents. The set is brass ox plated and the chain is adjustable in length with lobster claw clasp."

"It certainly is very grand."

"It is indeed Sir and is the only one of its kind."

"What is its price?"

"£1000 Sir."

"Hmm…that is quite a lot for a piece of jewellery."

"It is indeed Sir."

He placed the necklace back into the box.

"I think I shall just have the locket for the time being. I have to arrive to my home within a week. But I may return here before I depart."

"Very well Sir."

I took the locket and walked back out into the street. I hope Jane likes the locket. It reminds me of a locket which my mother used to keep. If I recall it is in the chest of mother's items which is still at Thornfield. I do not recall were, but perhaps John can search for the chest. It started to grow late so I headed back towards where I had left Mesrour. I walked back past the shops where I had come and up the little lane. As I was walking I heard a faint sob. I walked faster up the lane and the sobbing grew louder. I could now hear the sobbing so loud that it hurt my ears. I stopped and saw a faint figure in the distance slouched down on the floor against the wall.

I approached the figure. It was a small girl nearing about 12 years of age?

"Little one, why are you weeping?"

The small girl looked up at me with teary eyes.

"Oh Sir! I have nowhere to go!"

"Where do you live? What has happened child?"

"I...I…"

"Come with me little one I will feed you and clean you up and then you can tell me why you are upset. Does that sound ok? Will you come with me?"

She was weeping too much to give an answer so she just nodded her head, implying a 'yes'.

I helped her up and she took my hand and we continued walking up the lane. Once we where out into the street I could now see this small child clearly. She was a poor child; her dress was all creased and starting to get dirty. She had light blonde hair and blue eyes, she was quite tall. She came up nearing my elbow. I did not know how old she was as I did not enquire of her age.

"How old are you child?" I asked her. Still sobbing she managed to reply 'I am 14 years Sir."

She reminded me of Adele. So young and innocent, but they were complete opposites. Adele had been spoilt with dresses and fine jewellery whereas this young girl was poor and had no money; she had not been spoilt in any way. We at last found Mesrour and I could see that the child was tired. Her eyes were heavy and she would fall asleep any moment. I lifted her into the saddle, and then I did the same. I placed the little girl in front of me and held her by the waist so she did not fall. It would be another half hour before we returned to Ingram Park so that should give her enough time to have a small rest.

As we where nearing Ingram Park I felt the little girl start to stir. She turned her head towards me and buried her face in my chest. I stroked her hair as not to frighten her, as I no doubt thought that she had never saddled a horse before and thought if she did awake it might frighten her. At last we had reached the gates of Ingram Park. I unsaddled Mesrour and lifted the little girl from him. A stable boy then approached.

"Would you please take Mesrour back to the stables, and clean and feed him?"

"Yes Sir."

I scooped the little girl into my arms and made for the entrance. As I entered I could hear voices in the drawing room. Still carrying the little girl I entered.

"Eshton, help me please."

Eshton quickly rushed over.

"What has happened Edward? Who is she?"

Blanche quickly came over and interrupted.

"Who on earth is this servant girl? She does not belong here!"

"Blanche I found her alone and weeping at the side of the road, I could not leave her there. Please fetch a servant."

My arms started to become tired and Eshton helped me get the little girl into my chamber. A maid soon came.

"Miss, could you please give this young girl a bath and some clean clothes if there are any to fit if not a nightgown will do, and wash her dress also."

"Yes Sir."

I left the young girl with the maid and Eshton and I left. We went in search of food from the kitchen for her.

"Edward. What made you bring her here?"

"I was on my way back from the village when I saw her at the side of the pathway from a side lane sobbing. I asked her what had happened but she was too distressed to reply. I asked if she would let me bring her here so she could sleep and eat. She agreed and so here we are."

"That is very kind of you Edward. What do you think has happened to her?"

"I don't know Eshton but when she has eaten I will inquire."

I took a plate of freshly baked bread and butter, a mug of milk and a scone and placed it all on a silver tray. It had been an hour since I arrived back; surely the young girl was cleaned up. Eshton returned to the drawing room to inform Lord and Lady Ingram of the little girl and I took the tray of food and drink up to my chamber. I knocked and was told to come in by the maid. I placed the tray on the side table near the bed.

"I see that the girl is cleaned up now and dressed?"

"Yes Sir, I have given her a new dress and have washed her other one."

"Thank you, now could you please leave us?"

"Yes Sir."

The maid exited my chamber and the little girl and I were left alone in my chamber. She was now dressed in a black dress and had little black shoes on. Her hair was neatly brushed and was left down, trailing down her back. Her face was now clean and no tears where in sight. She sat up on the bed with pillows propped behind her back. I took the tray and rested it on the bed next to her. I sat on the edge of the bed.

"I thought you might be hungry so I brought you up some bread and butter, a scone and some milk."

"Oh yes I am hungry indeed, thank you kind Sir."

After she had finished her food and milk I took the tray from the bed and placed it on the table.

"Now I know you are 14 years of age, but what is your name."

"My name is Kate Sir."

"Kate? That is a very nice name. My name is Mr Rochester. You may call me that if you wish."

"Thank you."

"Now how did you come about to be sobbing in the lane?"

"Well Sir. It was a month ago…my parents and I where very happy, just the three of us in that little cottage that we had. My mother owned a small shop selling cakes and my father worked in the stables. One day in that month my mother became very sick with fever and within two days she died…"

Kate started to weep again, but not as she did before. It was more like she was trying to suppress her tears. I gently touched her shoulder.

"Go on."

"We had the funeral and father was very upset, after two weeks he remarried. I did not want him to, I felt like he was trying to replace my mother. She was a wicked woman and did not like me. She hit me and made lies and made father hate me. He died shortly after of typhus fever. I thought my stepmother would keep me, but she refused to let me stay and I was turned out onto the street. I had no one, no other family to go to and so I spent a month on the street until you found me."

I could not believe the story that young Kate has just narrated to me. How horrific!

"Oh my dear child! So you have no one to live with?"

"No Sir."

"I have told you Kate you may call me Mr Rochester."

"Yes Si…I mean Mr Rochester."

I could not leave her on the street! I could not send her away with no where to go, no one to look after her. If I could employ her at my house for at least a year made a good girl out of her, then maybe I could send her off to school and make something better of her. A governess perhaps?

"How would you like to come home with me Kate?"

"But Mr Rochester I thought this was your home?"

"Oh no, I am at a house party this is my friend's house. I will be going to my home on Friday. Would you like to come with me?"

"Oh yes! I would like that very much! If it is not too much trouble"

"Very well then all is settled. On Friday you shall come home with me. When you are a little bit older I will send you off to school so you will be a talented, intelligent young lady. Would you like that? You can always come and visit me."

"Mr Rochester, that sounds very pleasant indeed. Thank you."

She threw her arms about my neck and embraced me. Such a precious little thing. She was not like Adele who I would turn away for trying to show me any affection, she was different. I felt a different warmness towards her. I allowed her embrace and I put my arms about her. The warmth of her made me feel almost like a father. I had helped this young girl when she had no one, it made me feel happy.

"There now. You need rest, you must be tired. Come now off to sleep."

"Where will I sleep?"

"You can sleep in my room."

"But then where will you sleep."

"I will sleep in another room. There are plenty here."

"Oh please don't leave me! I…I am afraid of the dark! Living on the streets you see many horrid things!"

Her eyes looked at me with sadness. I could not deny her.

"Tonight I will sleep in this armchair by the window to see that you sleep well. Will that be alright?"

"Yes. Thank you!"

"You do not need to thank me Kate."

She jumped up of the bed and ran towards me embracing me tightly. It was as if she was too afraid to let go, in fear of losing me. I tucked Kate into bed and made sure she was comfortable.

"Good Night Kate."

"Good Night Mr Rochester."

I kissed her forehead and moved over to the chair. After an hour I saw that she was sleeping heavily. I am not surprised with living on the streets all that noise, and her fear of the dark. I walked over to the bedside table and blew out the candle. It was only 8 o'clock and I had no desire to sleep yet. So I made my way towards the door, quietly as not to wake her. I was beginning to feel hungry and was in need of some refreshment. I opened the door and made one last look at Kate before leaving in search of food.


	10. Ordering help

The next few days went by as usual. Instead of spending my time with Eshton or Blanche or any of the house guests for that matter I spent my time with Kate. We went shopping on Tuesday as she knew she would be coming to Thornfield with all of the 'grand' people and surroundings so I decided to treat her to a few new dresses. We would be returning to Thornfield in three days anyhow. We took a carriage there instead of me riding on Mesrour as it wasn't fit for a 14 year old girl. We arrived in the village just before dinner time.

"Kate, it will be dinner time soon and we still need to do some shopping. So we can either have dinner now and then shop, or, shop a little then have dinner then shop some more. What would you prefer?"

"Oh Mr Rochester could we go shopping first please? I am so excited I have never been shopping with a kind a man as you for pretty dresses before! I have never had any pretty dresses, my parents could never afford them."

I knew she was very excited. I'm glad she isn't spoilt because then she won't need me to buy her the most expensive things.

First we went to the dressmakers shop. I took her around for a while until an assistant came over.

"Miss, this girl here needs some new dresses. Not too grand mind. Can you please see to what she wants?"

"Of course, Sir."

The assistant took Kate around the shop and showed her many different dresses already made and different materials in case she wanted one made for her. She preferred the already made dresses. After Kate had chosen her new dresses we entered out into the street and headed back to the carriage to place the boxes inside. Your probably wondering what she bought? Well, yes. In total she bought 4 dresses. One of blue wool, with a slight white frill on the edges, the second a dress of black muslin and another one of white. The last dress she bought was quite plain compared to the other dresses. This one was a light shade of grey. When Kate came to me and showed me the dress I was astonished! The dress reminded me of Jane. Oh, my dearest Jane. She had a dress just like this and would often wear it when in my presence. I could not believe that out of all the dresses, Kate chose that one. Before leaving the shop she begged me to let her wear it now. How could I refuse? She put the grey dress on, and when she stepped out of the room with it on, I swear she was a little miniature of Jane.

After placing the boxes of dresses inside the carriage we continued up the path to the book shop.

"Kate would you like a book?"

"Oh but Mr Rochester, I can hardly read!"

How stupid of me! Of course she cannot read she is a stable man's daughter. Well we shall have to change that.

"Well Kate we will have to change that then won't we?"

"You mean you will teach me to read?"

"Yes, the governess back at Thornfield and I will both teach you."

"Mr Rochester, that is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you."

I didn't purchase a book from the bookshop but I simply browsed the sections of books whilst showing Kate some pictures of foreign birds. She seemed very interested. All the while she kept exclaiming 'Oh that bird is beautiful!' and 'I love the scarlet red on that bird's wing!' By now Kate as well as I was beginning to grow hungry so before returning to Ingram park we stopped off at a little café on the corner. I had a large serving of roast turkey with raw vegetables and Kate had a very small side plate of bread and butter. I asked her if she wanted more to eat but she exclaimed that the bread and butter would do her fine. I forget that she is not used to eating large, elegant meals.

Our shopping trip had been longer than I expected it to be so we returned to the carriage in the direction of Ingram Park. Once we arrived I took Kates' dresses up to my chamber and hung them up for her. She was still sleeping in my chamber with me as she was still afraid of the dark and was worried in case I left her there by herself. Kate slept in the bed and I slept peacefully on the chaise lounge at the bottom of the bed. Kate still dressed in her grey gown, had decided that she wanted to join me tonight in the drawing room with the rest of the party. I could not say no. When she appeared I could see that Blanche was displeased. Kate noticed me immediately and came running towards me. I knelt down to her height and embraced her. From the corner of my eye I saw that Blanche gave Kate a harsh look of her eyes. I took her and sat down with her on the sofa by the warm fire. Blanche sat opposite us.

"Edward, why is that child here?"

"She wanted to join me tonight. I didn't see why I should refuse her request."

"I thought you were not fond of children?"

"I'm not."

"Then why do you keep her."

"Because she has nowhere else to go and I will not see her left on the street Blanche."

I could see that Kate felt uncomfortable with the way Blanche was addressing her.

"Forgive us Blanche but we must leave know, it appears that KATE is tired and I believe I will retire with her."

"Very well Edward. Will the child stay with you until your return to Thornfield?"

"Yes. I will have my new governess teach her with Adele. And her name is Kate."

Before Blanche could say another word I retired to my chamber. I could not stand to be in another minute of that bitch's presence, with her snide remarks.

The departure day had finally arrived with much anticipation from me and the other guests. I had hardly spoken to Blanche since I had been at Ingram Park but now I had to put my plan into action. The entire luggage had been strapped on the carriages and everyone was ready and waiting to depart. I wished to ride back to Thornfield on Mesrour, I wanted him to get some exercise and I wanted to feel the fresh country breeze upon my face. Eshton agreed in letting Kate ride with him in the carriage as she couldn't ride with me on Mesrour.

I sought out Blanche in the gallery.

"Good Morning Blanche."

"Good Morning Edward."

"I will be riding to Thornfield on Mesrour and as you are the best horsewoman in the county I thought perhaps you might join me?"

"Oh Edward, it would be a pleasure. I am already in my riding outfit so it will not be a problem let me just go and tell mama and I will meet you in the stables in five minutes."

With that easy job done I made my way towards the stables. Mesrour was already saddled and ready to go. I had been informed that my luggage would be on the carriage with Eshton and Kates' luggage. After five minutes of waiting Blanche finally appeared, as she had said she would. We saddled our horses and made our way out the front gate. We had left five minutes before the rest of the guests and so were due to arrive at Thornfield much earlier than them.

"It is a beautiful morning isn't it Blanche?"

"Yes, I suppose it is if you like the wind and the coldness. I myself prefer a warm hazy day."

Why does she like to irritate me so? I am only trying to make conversation but she is making it impossible!

"I cannot wait to see Thornfield again once more! I am intrigued in meeting this new governess you earlier spoke of."

"Ah yes Miss Eyre. She is a very intelligent woman and a great teacher to Adele."

"Yes well, poor girls need to be intelligent otherwise they cannot find a suitable situation in which to fend for themselves."

"Poor girls work because they have no choice Blanche."

"Yes well, I shall judge her myself."

She will judge no one! How dare she speak of Jane in that way! Ungrateful bitch that she is! Ten minutes had passed and Blanche was still raving on about her dresses that she has brought with her, I am a man I do not care to be told of fine dresses for parties. I would rather discuss science or birds than listen to that! While Blanche is continuing on I begin to become lost in my own thoughts.

I suppose you thought I had forgotten about the locket I had purchased for Jane? Ah, you are wrong! It took me a day to remember that I had bought it and that it was neatly placed into the pocket of my coat. I am glad to say that it was not damaged by all of the rain that God, He himself showered upon us. When I was alone in my chamber I took it out and nestled it safely into my trunk. It still lies there now with the rest of my luggage; it would not do me well to have it discovered. I suppose you are wondering what my letter to Jane did contain? Well you shall wait no longer. I did earlier report to you of my starting the letter when I was interrupted by Blanche and I therefore did not get to finish telling you of it. I wrote it with all of the love and passion that my heart and soul could withstand. I do hope she has received it.

_Dearest Jane_

_I regret not telling you of my departure but I could not trust myself in telling you, I did not wish to upset you or have you think the worst of me. I want you to know that I am thinking of you whilst I am away, your always in my thoughts and in my heart. Even now I am thinking of you. I want to be near you again. To hear your voice, feel the softness of your skin upon my skin. I will be arriving at Thornfield on Friday; I hope you will be there to greet me. I do not know what it is but you hold this power over me, this burning fever within my heart. You have bewitched me with your words and your heart. Even from that day in Hay Lane. Your skin glows with a radiant light, such like the moon that, I stare out of my window sometimes and talk to you. Hoping, wishing that you can hear my soul's cry for you. You bring me the most wonderful freedom. I know you must think of me as ill treating you as I had left without so much as a word, and for that I am sorry; truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me and believe me when I say 'I love you.'_

_Yours truly_

_Edward_

I fear now that the letter was too forthright. What if she only told me that she loved me because I kissed her? Have Iknow poured out my heart for her to reject me? Deceive me in some way? 'No! I will not have that! She does love you Edward; you heard it from her own delicate lips!' God, help me! I do not wish to put her to any harm. I am trying to do as mother says but I find myself overcome with selfishness! I cannot have her, by law I cannot. I am married, but in my heart I am a free man. Would I go as far as to deceive Jane to provide for my own snake of selfishness? I truly did not know.

I heard this echoing voice calling my name 'Edward, Edward are you listening to me!' At first I thought it could be Jane calling out to me but my hope was shattered when I realised it was only Blanche.

"Yes Blanche, I am listening."

Blanche became quite silent all of a sudden. We were just coming over the top of a small hill near the ground of Thornfield when I felt a warm fuzziness inside of me. Jane must be close. I can feel her presence, somewhere on this hill. Blanche was advancing towards the hill fast and was quite a way ahead of me. She stopped once she approached the top of the hill so that I might catch her up. As I came over the top of the hill I could see Jane sitting on a nearby tree with her sketching paper and watercolours. Nows your chance Edward! Mesrour galloped faster as I approached Blanche.

"I'll race you home to the river!"

"Gladly."

I let Blanche have a start just ahead of me, I intended her to arrive back home first, and she did. Once our horses where unsaddled and drinking water in the stables Blanche and I returned to the house at the sound of carriage wheels on the gravel. The rest of the guests had arrived. We stood in the lower courtyard greeting each other while Mrs Fairfax showed the guests to their separate chambers. All of this was going on and all the while I could still feel Jane's presence. I didn't look up discreetly but I knew that she was watching me from the schoolroom casement. The carriages where taken back to the stables and Mrs Fairfax led the houseguests inside. Kate and Eshton still had yet to arrive. What could have made them late? I waited for another minute in the courtyard and was about to retire inside when I heard the crunch of wheels on the gravel. Eshton alighted from the carriage, then came Kate whom I helped out of the carriage. I lifted her up into my arms until she could touch the floor.

"Hello again Kate! And Hello Eshton. Please come inside I will see that your luggage is brought to your chambers."

Kate took my hand as I led them both inside. Once I had shown Eshton to his faithful chamber I took Kate with me to my study.

"How do you like Thornfield so far Kate?"

"Oh, I like it very much. It is so big!"

"Yes."

"Well we have both had a long journey and I suppose you are tired. Come I will take you to your chamber."

I led Kate up the grand staircase to the chamber next to mine. She was soon dressed in her nightgown and sleeping peacefully. I had ordered Mrs Fairfax to bring Jane in to see me in my study regarding Kate. I re-entered my study to see that Jane was already seated there waiting for my arrival.

"Edward?"  
"Jane, I have to speak to you urgently about a matter of business."

"Yes?"  
"Whilst I was away I found a young fourteen year old girl by the side of the road. I took her with me to Ingram Park and she informed me that her name was Kate and she had no family. Her parents have not longed died due to illness and her stepmother has cast her off. I have taken on the responsibility of looking after Kate until something better can be arranged for her. In the meantime I would like you to teach her in the schoolroom with Adele. Is that alright?"  
"Why yes, it is fine. It is very kind what you did for Kate. She seems to me to have been lost. If you had not found her she may have spent her last days outside, cold and lonely. I will do my best to care for her with my up most affection."

"I trust you will Jane. Thank you."

"I fear there may be a slight problem though."

She had a sad look on her face.

"Oh?"

"I fear that Adele will feel neglected upon the arrival of Kate and may be jealous of my teaching her."

"I don't think that will cause any problems but beforehand I think a meeting with Adele and Kate would be wise tomorrow before their lessons start, and it would also be wise for you to be present in case anything goes wrong, like a tantrum."  
"Of course, after breakfast I shall bring them into your study."

Jane stood up to leave but I stopped her.

"Jane."

She turned to look deep into my eyes.

"I know."

We both smiled a huge grin, we both understood one another, and with that she left me.


	11. Arguments

The day of the meeting had arrived. I had Jane and Adele sat in front of me with Kate sitting beside me. Adele sat in silence glaring at Kate. She didn't know what to expect.

"Adele, Kate will be staying with us for a little while and will be accompanying you and Miss Eyre in the schoolroom for your lessons. And Kate this is Adele, and your teacher Miss Eyre."

To my surprise Kate arose and curtseyed. No doubt she had learnt that from watching the ladies at the house party.

"Hello mademoiselle, it is very nice to meet you. Hello Adele."

Jane answered admirably.

"Hello Kate, I look forward to teaching you."

Adele still sat in silence.

"Adele?"

Still not a word from her lips. Why was it that difficult for her to accept this!

"Adele, speak child!"

"Je ne veux pas que MADEMOISELLE Eyre pour elle ait enseignée ! Elle l'enlèvera de moi!"

"Adele! Do not be so rude to Kate! You do not now her and I'm sure you will grow used to the new arrangements."

Adele stood angrily and left the study with a slamming of the door.

"Mr Rochester, I fear that young Adele does not like me. It was wrong of me to let you take care of me. I'm sorry."

I looked tenderly at her. I felt sorry for her, trying to fit in, in a new surrounding, it must be very difficult for her. I should know.

"Kate do not speak so. She will be well in time I believe."

Jane came and sat beside Kate.

"Kate, do not fear. Adele will be well in time as Mr Rochester says and I'm sure you will love it here just as much as I do."

"Thank you Miss Eyre."

"Come now Kate, we have lessons this morning. We'll go to the schoolroom."

Kate stood and took hold of Jane's hand.

I watched as Jane and Charlotte left the room hand in hand.

As Jane approached the door she turned her head to look at me. I silently mouthed a 'thank you' to her to which she nodded her head. Kate and Jane were so much alike and in some ways they where the same soul, but just in two different bodies. Oh how I wanted to touch Jane! It seems now that I have no time for her; I have Kate to look after as well as Adele and a house full of guests, why did I even agree to any of this! 'Edward it's too much, you can't handle it!' The only time I will get to speak to my beloved Jane properly is when my houseguests are gone or if they all just disappear. You are a fool to have agreed to this! But who did I agree with? Myself? I'm angry with myself for listening to myself? Now I just sound crazy. Like Bertha.

After her morning lessons I went to talk to Adele about Kate. I had saw Kate early in the afternoon and calmed her as she was still afraid of what Adele might say to her. I made my way up to the schoolroom where Jane had just finished teaching Kate the arts of drawing. Afternoon lessons had not yet begun but Kate wished for some extra tutoring. She was not very well trained at drawing or painting yet but I'm sure in time Jane would have her drawing to a high standard.

"Miss Eyre, do you know were I can find Adele?"

"I believe she is in her chamber Sir."

"Thank you."

Jane gave me a smile and a gentle nod.

I entered Adele's chamber where she lay on the bed, head in her pillows. I took my seat on the bed beside her and we sat in silence for several minutes.

"Adele, I know you are discontented."

She appeared to ignore me.

"Adele?"

She turned her head away from me. Ok, now I was getting angry with her. She did not know what I wanted to talk about and she was being very rude. At least she could hear what I had to say and then I would do the same of her before she ignored me.

"Adele, answer me? Do you have a problem with Kate?"

"No!"

"Yes, it appears that you do. I can see it in your countenance."

"She will take Miss Eyre from me! I don't like taking my classes with her; she is poor and older than me!"

"Adele! You should not speak about her in that way. She will not take Miss Eyre from you as you claim she will. Miss Eyre would not allow it by any means! Miss Eyre cares for you both; it is what she is being paid to do Adele. You have no right to judge her because she is a poor child. Yes she is much older than you but that makes no difference to the situation. Are you forgetting that Miss Eyre is poor? That she too was once a poor child? You think no different of Miss Eyre so why should you of Kate?"

"Because Mr Rochester, I have known Miss Eyre for a few months now and Kate has just been brought here, someone you found!"

"And you shall therefore get to know her a little better before you shall judge her. I did find her yes and she has no parents and her stepmother cast her off onto the streets cold and alone, and I thought it best to take her in, so she could make something of herself, be someone, just like I am doing with you. If it wasn't for me Adele you should still be in France!"

My voice had risen slightly to a shouting tone.

"Well maybe I don't want to be here!"

Adele stood, stamped her foot and headed for the door. She opened it and was about to leave.

"Adele! You come here, now!"

She continued in opening the door and stepped out. But something stopped her mid way.

"Adele, don't you dare slam that door!"

Bang. Adele had disobeyed my order and had retired in a foul temper. I shall make it up with her later, but I must get her to understand why Kate is here. And I still have guests to entertain. I shall leave Adele to calm down and would talk with her later. No doubt my guests had heard the banging of the door from Adele's moment of anger. The guests had now resided in the drawing room.

"Ah Eshton! I see everyone is up and about and has eaten dinner."

"Yes Edward, why where you not at dinner?"

"I had business to attend to."

"Ah, I see."

We walked toward the window and looked out onto the sunny, but frosty chill morning.

"So Edward, when do I meet this governess of yours?"

"I don't know. Possibly never."

"What do you mean?"

"I have not seen her, well not properly anyway. The guests are keeping us apart. We usually see each other in the evenings but now I will be permitted to attend the party as I am the host, I will never have any time with her until the party is over."

"Then Edward, why not see her tomorrow night. I will vouch for you saying you have important documents to check over, that way the guests are happy and you can see each other."

"But what if Blanche saw me?"

"Hmm…that would be a problem."

Eshton thought for a moment and then out of nowhere gave me a cunning smile.

"I have just the thing. Let Adele come into the drawing room after dinner tomorrow evening and ask Jane to bring her in. That way you can still see her and keep the guests happy."

"Eshton, did I ever tell you you're a genius?"

"Well it has been said."

We both started to laugh aloud.

All I had to do now was find Mrs Fairfax in the morning to tell Adele and Jane they must attend the drawing room after dinner. I now she will see Blanche there and will get jealous. Is that what I want? For Jane to be jealous of Blanche, and hate me? I do not now. I didn't want it to happen like that, but, my mother's words kept echoing in my head 'you must do what is right' surely if Jane where to leave Thornfield after seeing Blanche that would not be such a bad thing?

By now Eshton had gone to join the Dent twins by the fire and Blanche had taken my company.

"Edward, I thought as it is such a fine day perhaps you might take a ride with me?"

"My dear Blanche, it would be a pleasure."

We made leave of the other house guests and were away on our ride within a few minutes. As we were already in our riding habits we had nothing to prepare ourselves for, only saddle the horses. We rode across Weichmar's Valley, and into the gardens of Lake Loughs. When we first set out to Weichmar's Valley I knew that Jane was watching me. Watching me with Blanche, from the side roof of the South tower. I felt at ease, but also slightly intimidated. All I wanted to do was ride back home and take Jane in my arms and kiss her and embrace her tightly. But that would be un-courteous and un-gentlemanly. I was brought up to never leave a Lady unattended at any time; even if she were a selfish bitch like Blanche.

Oh Jane! I need you! Your like the air I breathe, you're the one I see in my every dream, my every waking moment. I want to be you're every wish, you're dream come true; I'm all you'll ever need. Jane. Jane. Jane…

I am woken from my fantasy by Blanche's high pitched voice.

"Edward, when will your new governess grace us with her presence?"

"I do not know dear Blanche; maybe she will join us on the evening of next."

"I would very much like to meet her, although I do not converse with many servants."

"Miss Eyre is not a servant she is a governess, a teacher."

"Very well. But still she is below me"

Below you! Below you! She is above you! She is better than you'll ever be Blanche, your just a selfish bitch and everyone knows it, all your after is rich men's money because you have none of your own. How can I stand to be in the same room with this woman!

Our ride was only short lived as we were both getting restless so decided to head back toward Thornfield. When we arrived John took our horses to the stables and Blanche went off to find the Dent twins to do some sewing. I entered my study and looked at the time piece on the mantle. It was two o'clock already. I knew that Jane would have finished her lessons for a short break. Now was my chance to find her. I found her in the gardens, in the orchard; I knew it was her favourite place.

"Jane, there you are. How are you this morning?"

"Never better."

"Jane, please forgive me I'm sorry I left without saying a word. I didn't want to upset you. Please Jane…"

"Mr Rochester, please you don't have to explain. I know you were with Blanche Ingram, Mrs Fairfax told me."

"Jane it's not what you think…"

"Isn't it?"

"No."

"You never left me to be with Blanche?"

"Not on purpose no."

"Did you mean everything you said that night?"

"Jane of course I did, you know I did."

I brushed my hand across her arm. Oh Jane, to feel you once again. Your touch eases my heart that's been trembling for you these past two weeks. She brushed past me and walked back to Thornfield. 'Jane?' Why won't she talk to me? My love? My life?

I thought we were alright, that day I arrived I called her and she just smiled back at me, like she forgave me!

Perhaps this is for the best? No! I can't bring myself to think those thoughts. I know she loves me, she told me, I can feel it! Is she jealous of Blanche? Or is she playing some kind of game with me? She must be! That night after the fire, she kissed me and declared her love for me, I knew she couldn't hide it, I know she can't suppress her love for me. Like her unshed tears for me. Perhaps I can bring out her jealousy more? That's it! I shall bring Adele and Jane in the drawing room this evening instead of tomorrow evening. I shall talk to Blanche all evening as I know Jane will be watching me. That will surely make her jealous and she will come to me!

I must seek out Mrs Fairfax before supper and put my plan into action. I know you love me Jane. Your soul cries out to me, I hear it. You know you cannot hide your feelings from me. I know you are jealous of Blanche. And I'm also guessing that you think I don't love you, but I do Jane. I do, more than you could ever possibly imagine. My love for you is greater than I can express, greater than I can understand or ever experience. My love for you knows no boundaries, but all the boundaries of the life that is surrounding you were put there out of love.

Love is the motivation behind all of my efforts; your love is the ultimate goal which I am searching. My own desire sets me afire, and puts me in flight for our souls to unite. If you will just love me back we will set the world ablaze with our love that will have the power to amaze. A little while we were in the shine of the moon, our lips were twined together do you remember? Our love was as free as the wind was upon the hills that night.

Jane, when I look into your eyes I can see a sea full of stars, if I walked out into the light of the moon, would you be stood there waiting silent, outstretched arms with an irresistible desire to be loved? From the casement in my chamber I look out into the night when the darkness sets in, I find myself sitting there asking 'when did this all begin?' The feelings I feel for you can't be put into words, the happiness and freedom I feel is like flying like a bird. Soon tomorrow will come and I'll still be thinking of you when I look up at the stars; the sun; the clouds; and the moon.

My love for you is intense and now so immense. But your love for me is a dream and now it's out of reach. As real as it may seem. Your love is a stone which is leaving me all alone. I have a little secret deep inside which I do not wish for you to find. It would tear us apart; we would be blown to the ends of the earth, never to return to one another. I could not allow that to happen. You are my light and my love, when I see your green eyes staring back at me all I see is passion in your eyes. Jane, I know you love me and if only you could hear me now. One day I will repeat this declaration of love to you, but not now, it's too soon. But Jane I just want you to know one thing, if you can hear me, Jane; I love you with all the passion in my heart. I find myself thinking in poetry.


	12. Passion Entwines

The next day I informed Mrs Fairfax to tell Adele, Kate and Jane that they would join our guests in the drawing room this evening

The next day I informed Mrs Fairfax to tell Adele, Kate and Jane that they would join our guests in the drawing room this evening. I knew Jane would refuse so I informed Mrs Fairfax to tell her that if she did not come I would bring her down myself. I could not wait for the following evening to begin! It would be a night of fun and games. It was that afternoon that Kate (having had a short time away from her lessons with Jane) came to see me in the parlour where I was entertaining the guests.

"I think your little servant girl wants a word with you Edward."

As Blanche said this I turned around to see her standing shyly a few feet away from me.

"Yes Kate?"

"Mr Rochester, Sir, may I speak with you?"

"Of course you may."

She took my hand and we continued on to my study.

"Mr Rochester I do not want to visit the ladies tonight after dinner in the drawing room. I know Adele would not want me there and I am just a servant I do not belong in there. Please Mr Rochester I would rather sit in the nursery and try to learn how to read some more."

"Very well Kate. You can be excused. I just thought you may want to spend the time in the drawing room with Miss Eyre while Adele greeted the ladies."

Kate kissed my cheek and ran off to the nursery as quick as her little legs could carry her. I couldn't help but smile a cheeky grin. I cannot believe how different she is from Adele! Adele would never pass an opportunity to greet the ladies. Perhaps that is why I like her so much?

I spent the rest of my afternoon playing billiards with Eshton and the rest of the gentlemen, while the ladies sat in the parlour sewing and some reading. Why is it that women find the need to sew? Perhaps they find some comfort in it or simply sew for the reason that they are women and have roles in society and in the presence of other ladies? Oh I don't know. Maybe one day I will ask. Evening arrived much too quickly. I could feel a tight knot in my stomach I was quite nervous in having Jane sit there watching my every move, being angry at me. I did not feel in the least bit hungry. But I knew I must try and eat something. I along with the guests sojourned to the dining room for a well prepared meal. Leah had out done herself again. The meal was delightful! The first course consisted of a stuffed chicken covered in a German sauce of some kind, gilt sugar plums and pomegranate seeds. The second course consisted of pig cooked in parsley and vinegar, and covered with a powdered ginger, chicken covered with yolk of eggs and sprinkled with powder de Duc (spice). And the third course was as equally scrumptious. Darioles and stars with jelly (part white, part red). Next was cream with Duc powder, covered with fennel seeds preserved in sugar, a white cream, a selection of sliced cheeses and strawberries, and lastly there was plums stewed in rose-water; just how I like it. The guests seemed also to enjoy it.

Having our meal settle down after a few glasses of port the guests decided to retire to the drawing room. I knew Jane would be there and was by now…nervous! Very nervous indeed! I was nearly at the door to the drawing room when Lady Ingram accosted me! She started to babble on about my preparing to marry or something. I wasn't paying too much attention, I was concentrating on Jane and how my entrance would look to her. After much confusion (I sensed Lady Ingram knew I was not listening) Lady Ingram started to broach the subject of good blood and bad blood. At that moment my thoughts disappeared in a flash and I was concentrating on what she had to say.

"Some people are poor and that is God's will. Therefore I am satisfied."

"Well of course you are if you're one of the pre determined rich!"

We had by now entered into the drawing room and I knew instantly that she was there. As Lady Ingram and I took our places beside the fire I knew that somewhere Jane was watching me intently.

I still had not discovered where she was until I saw a shadow from the corner of the room behind the screen. 'That must be Jane' thought I. She would never sit where she could be seen. I had not directly looked into her direction; I tried to keep myself composed in conversation with Blanche. Those tight knots in my stomach that I had once felt before entering know tightened. I felt as if I were going to scream out at the top of my lungs for Jane. My nervousness was starting to get the better of me. I could feel Jane's hurt and anger; knew she was angry and wanted to leave the room. Adele by now had come from behind the shaded screen and was dancing around the room, after much encouragement from Jane to sit down, she had disobeyed and Jane grew quite angry but soon calmed her countenance and continued reading a book.

Blanche soon grew tired of my neglect of her conversation and walked away from beside the fire to the other side of the room.

"Edward…Edward?"

"Eshton! Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Ah, I see it is Jane!"

"Yes. But she is angry with me Eshton. She thinks I am going to marry Blanche and that I lied about my love for her."

"Have you tried to explain?"

"She won't listen Eshton!"

I had turned away from Jane to talk to Eshton. I noticed him looking over my shoulder towards where Jane sat.

"Eshton, what are you looking at?" I did not wish for Eshton to know that I knew he was looking in Jane's direction.

"Jane is behind that screen?"

"Yes."

"I just saw Blanche go over there and whisper something to her. It appears now that Jane is getting up to leave and Blanche has resumed her place at her sister Mary's side."

"What?"

I turned around quite quickly and just saw the hem of Jane's grey dress slip out from the door.

"Eshton! Cover for me, I need to speak to Jane."

I seemingly hurried out of the room without being seen. Jane was about to descend down the small flight of steps when I stopped her.

"Jane!"

She suddenly stopped and turned round to face me. She did not walk closer but stood still.

"Where are you going?"

"I am tired and need sleep."

"Why are you crying Jane?"

"I am not crying!"

"I tell you that you are. I saw Blanche speak to you what did she say?"

Jane turned away from me and appeared to wipe tears away from her eyes. I slowly and quietly walked over to were she stood and placed my hand on her shoulder. Oh to touch her again; her slight shoulder under my huge hand.

"Jane? What is wrong?"

"Do you think I can bare it? To see you in there with Blanche! With her telling me you are to be married! Everyone in that room knows it. Do you think because I am poor, plain and little that I have no heart? That I am without a soul? I have as much heart as you and as much soul. I must leave you now. I cannot continue living here when you are to be wed to another! How could you do that to me?"

I spun her round and took her in my arms.

"Jane! You know I don't love Blanche I love you; with all my heart and soul. I cannot live without you. I will love you all my life!

"You lie!"

She tried to break free from my arms but I held her tightly. I crushed her to me. Her hands up against my chest she tried to break free but I held her wrapped my arms around her back tighter, she would not be free.

"If an oath is necessary to you I swear it. Please Jane believe me! I have only ever loved you. I am not due to marry Blanche, although all about me seem to wish it. I want to marry you!"

"I can hardly believe what you are telling me! This cannot be true!"

"I swear to you Jane. I would…could never lie to you; my one true love."

"Do you really want me to marry you? A poor girl who has nothing to offer you?

"You have everything to offer me Jane! And yes I wish for you to marry me."

"Oh Edward! Yes, I will marry you!"

I pulled Jane to me and kissed her; a deep soul searching kiss. Jane returned my kiss with more passion than I care to remember. That night we made ourselves as one. My hands slipped around Jane's waist and I pulled her closer to me; her hands up around my neck pulling me closer to her. I had never felt more loved than I did now. That tight knot that pulled at my stomach had faded away with Jane's touch, she reignited that burning flame of passion within me; she made me whole again.

"I love you Edward."

As passionate as our kiss may have been our kiss together faded as footsteps where heard coming from the drawing room to the hall outside were we stood.

"Jane, someone is coming, hurry to your room I will come visit you in an hour or so."

"Promise?"

"I promise Jane!"

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight my darling."

I gave her one last kiss and she was gone.

I turned to the drawing room door when Blanche descended from it.

"Edward were have you been?"

"Just seeing to some business. Now if you will excuse me I need to talk to Eshton."

I brushed passed her and re entered the drawing room where I casually walked over to Eshton with a huge grin on my face.

"You seem joyful Edward?"

"Oh I am, I am engaged!"

"Not to Blanche…"

"No!...What do you take me for Eshton! No to Jane!"

"Oh Edward! Congratulations!"

We shook hands casually and he slapped my back.

"Come Edward; let's get these guests to bed so you can see your Jane."

After the guests had retired for sleep I made my way up to Jane's chamber, being careful that I was not seen by servants or guests. I knocked and waited for her to reply.

"Come in."

I slowly opened the door to see her standing at the foot of the bed, with a smile on her face. I gently closed the door and lent against it.

"Jane, come to me." She walked slowly towards me and fell into my embrace.

"Oh Jane. You have made me the most happiest of men!"

"No Edward! You have made me the happiest of women!"

I held her closer and kissed her forehead.

"What shall we do about your guests Edward?"

"We shall be rid of them on the morning of Friday. The party is now ending early."

"And Blanche?"

"Do not worry my petal. I will set things right with Blanche and her mother."

"Do not upset her though Edward. She does have feelings."

"Feelings! I hardly think so! She has no feelings Jane. She has a cold heart. She will not be too worried about me. She has never loved me, only my money, when I tell her that I am 'having money troubles' (which I am not Jane) she will soon lose interest. You watch and see."

Jane smiled a wicked smile and took my head in her hands and sucked on my lower lip. My hands went up to her neck and I caressed her gently. Jane was becoming quite an expert. How was it that she knew how to please me with just one kiss? I was beginning to get aroused. I knew that if we continued like this I may not be able to control myself and may do something I would later regret. I pushed Jane away gently.

"Come Jane, you must get some rest. I will see you in the morning my love."

"Good night darling, I will see you in the morning?"

"In the morning."

I gave her one last gentle kiss before leaving her to return to my chamber for deep slumber.

Oh Jane! What is this power you have over me? I find I cannot breathe when you touch me or when you kiss me. You have a burning passion within you and you leave a trail of fire when you touch my skin. I need you Jane. I love you. We will spend the rest of our lives together, happy. Then it occurred to me of one problem. Bertha!


	13. Home truths

Wednesday proved an eventful day for me. The night before when Jane and I declared our love for one another seemed short lived, I wished that night could have lasted forever. Today I am smiling brightly with anticipation for the days events. First I was to see Blanche and then I would visit Jane in the schoolroom after Adele and Kates' studies. I will let Blanche come to me, why must I chase her around all the time? The drawing room was all in chatter when I entered and Blanche immediately came up to me before anyone could say one word to me, not even Eshton.

"Edward, may I speak with you a moment?"

"Of course Blanche, follow me to the study."

Blanche as usual seated herself on the sofa by the fire and I stood beside the fireplace.

"What is it Blanche?"

"I just wanted to see you. I thought a nice talk and a stroll through the hall before dinner would be satisfying."

"And you often take strolls through the hall before dinner Blanche?"

"Yes I do Edward."

"And do you like what you see?"

"Naturally…"

Blanche gives me that puppy eyed seductive smile. Never fear, I am not fooled by her outward innocent appearance that is designed to lure me into her little games.

"But it could do with a few new furnishings here and there."

"And you think you would like to take all this on?"

I can't help but lead her on, just for a short while until I give her that fatal blow that will keep her away from me for all eternity.

"Oh Edward, is this what I think it is?"

"Yes Blanche."

Blanche stood up and threw her arms up around me.

"Edward, of course I will marry you!"

"Marry me?"

Blanche releases herself from me and looks at me with a quizzical look.

"My dear Blanche, I was not proposing to you."

"What? But I thought…"

"Yes Blanche you thought! I do not have as much money as you think I do."

Blanches face grew grave, cold and pale as she took her seat upon the sofa.

"You mean, you do not have twenty thousand pounds?"

"No Blanche, I have ten thousand."

"No…No!"

"No Blanche?"  
"That's right I said no! You do have twenty thousand pounds your just lying to me, and who says I want to marry you for the money?"  
"Oh Blanche, I should think it was quite obvious! You and your mother have been chasing me for years trying to get this estate and my fortune! All you are is a selfish, heartless, arrogant, spoilt little girl!"

"How dare you speak to me like that!"

By now Blanche had stood up from the sofa and came close to my face. I wasn't going to break; she would not break me and my secret.

"I know what this is all about!"

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Yes, it's about that little governess of yours! Don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at her, the way you're always chasing her. I saw you last night, fleeing straight out of the drawing room to go to her because I told her you would never marry her!"

My eyes flashed with anger and my heart welled up with hate. How dare she bring up Jane like that, it has nothing to do with her!

"How dare you get Miss Eyre involved in all of this! Just because she is my friend! Anyway Blanche I would rather marry her than you!

"You would rather marry a poor girl than a woman of honour, respect and fortune?"

"Yes."

"Why you…"

"And the reason Blanche is because she is not spoilt like you, she does not wear fancy dresses like you or flirt, she has a brilliant mind and is an amazing artist! She has more intelligence than you could ever withhold."

"You're just lying to me Edward!"

"Maybe I am? Maybe I'm not? Maybe I'm even lying about my fortune?"

"You made that story up about her so you could cast me away! If it is true that you have hardly any money then…"

"Then what Blanche, you're going to leave me?"

"Yes I am!"

"Blanche my dear, we were never a courting in the first place. Not in my eyes."

"Well I never!"

Blanche's eyes started to flash red with anger; I just stared into her eyes waiting for her to finally snap.

"Fine what are you to me without money?"

"I knew it! All your after is my money, and I've just proved it! All you are is a heartless cow!"

Blanche quickly rose and slapped me hard across my left cheek.

"I have never met such a rude a man as you!"

I quickly grasped her right wrist, in case she should slap me again.

"And I Blanche have never met such a heartless, arrogant woman in my life!"

I quickly let go of her wrist and exited the study, not looking back on the event that just occurred. As I re entered the drawing room I felt so relieved and cleansed of Blanche, that I couldn't help but smile a huge grin. As I approached Eshton I saw Blanche enter through the door on the other side of the room, she quickly walked over to Lady Ingram with a grave and shocked look on her face.

"Edward, what seems to be amiss with Blanche?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much Eshton; I just reiterated a few home truths to her, and dismissed a marriage."

"Edward! You never! I never would have thought that I'd see the day when Blanche found out the truth about herself! Well done Edward, I'd say that deserved a brandy!"

"I'll say after that slap I got! Shall we?"

Eshton and I made our way to the parlour passing Blanche on our way who never dared to look up but just simply sat contemplating on the previous events.


	14. Confrontations and lies revealed

The next day I informed Mrs Fairfax to tell Adele, Kate and Jane that they would join our guests in the drawing room this evening

I found Jane in the schoolroom. Adele and Kate had gone to take a walk in the gardens. It seemed now that Adele and Kate were getting along, especially after Jane's talk with them. To this day I still do not know what she spoke to them about, but it seems to have taken effect.

"Ah Jane, there you are!"

She didn't look up or even move, she was stood by the casement windows looking out at the gardens and the mornings deep blue sky.

"Jane?"

"Leave me alone Edward!"

"Jane, what's wrong? What's happened?"

She turned to face me her eyes filled with tears, and trickling down her cheeks. Oh my darling Jane! What has happened to make you sob like this? I hate seeing my Jane upset, oh Jane please tell me why you are crying.

"Lady Ingram!"

"Lady Ingram? What has she said to you Jane?"

"Well, I knew that you were going to see Blanche today so I tried to stay well clear of everything. I was in the library when I saw your friend Mr Eshton. He bid me to join him in the drawing room to discuss science with him. I obliged of course. I can not turn any of your friends down now can I?"  
At this point she bent her head and started to sob even more. I stood behind her and out my arms around her, providing her comfort.

"Go on Jane, your all right I'm here."

"Well we were in deep conversation when Lady Ingram approached me; she said I had a visitor in the library. She offered to take me there but I told her I was fine by myself, but she insisted upon it anyway. Upon entering the library I found no one there. Lady Ingram had closed the door and stood by it, I could not escape her."

"Oh my darling Jane."

"No, my tale is yet unfinished!"

"Carry on Jane."

"She started saying that if I had ruined her daughter's chances with you she would never forgive me and she said that I would be 'ruined in reputation' throughout England. Oh Edward it was so frightening. She grabbed my arm when I tried to leave." I rolled the sleeve of her dress up and saw a faint bruise appearing on the skin of her right arm. How could she? I rolled her sleeve back down and held her to my breast.

"Shhhh, it's alright Jane."

I turned her round and cradled her in my arms, she was sobbing uncontrollably and I hated seeing her so distressed. Lady Ingram would pay for this!

"Jane darling, you need not fear her, she is a cold hearted woman and hates being ashamed. I'll sort her out darling. She'll never come near you again."

I held her arm gently and guided her to the sofa and knelt down in front of her. She took my hands in hers and brought them to her lips, she kissed them so lightly.

"I'm sorry Edward, I…I have ruined your friendship with them."

"Nonsense! And the Ingrams were never my friends Jane."

Tears continued to fall down her pale cheeks. I rose from my knees and sidled up next to her on the sofa. I turned her towards me and gently wiped away the tears from her cheeks. She let out a small giggle and fell into my arms.

"I love you Edward, I'm sorry so sorry."

"You did nothing wrong Jane don't apologise. I should have protected you more, kept you away from them."  
I kissed the top of her head and Jane brought her eyes up to mine. I leaned in to her and kissed her lips. A fire burning within me; her passionate kiss filled me with much adoration. My arms went up about her waist and I pulled her closer to me; the soft and gentle touch of her breath on my face. Her arms about my chest, she gently sucked on my lower lip. I felt weak, like my whole body was just melting away with her touch. I felt the most powerful sense of passion that I have ever experienced in my life, and my Jane was its source. My little pixie!

"Jane, I must leave you know. I must inform my guests of their early departure. And set the Ingrams straight"  
"Edward, will I see you again before supper?"

"Yes, my love. I will come for you."

I stood up and with one last longing kiss I left her.

I remember the day that I first asked the meaning of the word "love. . . ."  
Mama put her arm gently round me and spelled into my hand, "I love you."  
"What is love Mama?" I asked. . . .  
"Love is something like the clouds that were in the sky before the sun came out," she replied. . . .  
"You cannot touch the clouds, you know; but you feel the rain and know how glad the flowers and the thirsty earth are to have it after a hot day. You cannot touch love either; but you feel the sweetness that it pours into everything. Without love you would not be happy or want to play."  
The beautiful truth burst upon my mind--I felt that these were invisible lines  
stretched between my spirit and the spirits of others.

I never did believe what my Mama had said, but now I understood the true meaning of those words.

How could I just leave my Jane for the rest of the day? I did not want to go back to my guests but I knew I had to, for our sake.

After dinner the guests had all sojourned into the parlour. It was now the time to tell all. I stood and all of the guests remained quiet.

"My dear guests, I am sorry to have to inform you but the party is to be ended early as I have important business to attend to. You may leave at any time between now and early Friday morning; my sincere apologies."

I sat back down in my corner seat by the window with Eshton.

"Edward, it's a shame the party is ending early."

"Yes, but I have Jane to think about now."

"Yes, your right. Oh here comes Lady Ingram!"

No doubt Lady Ingram's little visit was to talk about mine and Blanche's marriage.

"Edward, congratulations!"

"Congratulations? What is this?"

"For your engagement to Blanche! I no doubt realise that this is the reason for your 'important business."

"I am sorry to disappoint you Lady Ingram but no it is not. But I have something else to discuss with you."

Lady Ingram was most disappointed when I told her that. I take it Blanche had not informed her mother of our little 'disagreement' earlier this morning and so has taken it upon herself to assume we are engaged. That is typical of Blanche, not wanting to be made a fool out of.

"Oh, shall we go talk in private."

"No, we can talk right here, Eshton won't mind."

I could start to feel the anger rise within me, she hurt Jane physically and emotionally, and she better know not to mess with me and Jane.

"Lady Ingram, can I ask as to why you are making threats to my staff?"

Her face dropped to the floor quicker than a lightning bolt.

"I…I have not."

"Then can you explain to me why Adele's governess is crying upstairs and why she has a bruise upon her arm?"

"No I can't but it was nought to do with me!"  
"I have witnesses say you were seen entering the room with Miss Eyre."

Of course this was a lie but how was she to know? She had seen no one; she hadn't seen anyone, for all she knew a servant could have been lurking in the shadows.

"Well I have never been accused of something like this in all of my life!"

"I know you did it Lady Ingram, and if you or your horrible daughter Blanche ever step foot near this house again I will have you done for assault to a poor innocent girl!"

With this Lady Ingram stormed away in a foul mood. I take it she does not like being discovered in her fits of wickedness. I have won the match once again!

Eshton was still shocked at my confrontation with Lady Ingram.

"Edward…I had no idea she has seen Jane. How could she have done such a thing?"

"It's alright Eshton; Jane says she is fine just in a bit of shock that is all."

I then went in search of Mrs Fairfax to inform her of our guests' early departures.

"Mrs Fairfax, our guests will be departing early. I have some important business matters to attend to."  
"Of course Mr Rochester."  
"Make sure the carriages are ready on the morrow and early Friday morning."

"Yes, Sir."

Thursday and Friday seemed quite hectic. Mrs Fairfax was bustling round trying to be prepared for the guests' departures and Lady Ingram and Blanche were somewhat distant from everyone and especially me, I was glad of it. Jane carried on teaching Adele and Kate while the everyday bustling was being conducted downstairs. Lord and Lady Ingram, Blanche and Mary departed first very early on the Thursday. The Dents following on in the afternoon, and Eshton and his family departed on the Friday afternoon.

"Goodbye Edward, I am sorry to have to leave but I will visit you again soon."  
"Goodbye Eshton! Oh yes do come and visit, Jane and I would be happy to have you here."

"I wish you and Jane all the best of luck my friend."

He slapped my back and I led him out into the courtyard to his carriage.

"Go on be off with you!"

I stood waiting outside a while until I could no longer see the carriage rolling down the gravel, or hear the carriage wheels crunching on the pathway. It is such a fine afternoon I think I might like to take a walk in the orchard. I spent many an hour there as I sat on the little white bench dwelling on my most inner thoughts; looking at the landscapes all around me, listening to the birds twittering high in the trees.

As I watched a group of blackbirds playing on the small round patch of grass near the walkway I imagined my life with Jane, and our future children. How beautiful they would be, just like their mother. All my life since my marriage to Bertha I had wanted a loving wife, a family, and children; and for years it had been denied me by God. But now, my life's dream seemed possible, He was giving me a second chance, a better life. My thoughts were soon interrupted by light footsteps on the walkway.

"Edward, there you are."

Jane came over to me and sat on my knee, I was greeted by a loving kiss and an embrace.

"It's a fine night isn't it Jane?"  
"Yes, I often come here to think about you and to do my sketches."  
"Think about me? Why would you come here?"

"Because I love the gentle breeze that glides across my face, the smell of the roses in the orchard, the twittering of the birds, and the smell of your cigar smoke."

"So that's how you know I am near?"  
"Yes."

Jane smiled a devilish grin.

"Jane! Now you know I have been spying on you!"

I played a small smile across my lips and I gently kissed her forehead.

"Well Edward, your not exactly invisible you know!"

She playfully slapped my arm.

"Well I could be for you!"

I dropped her body back slightly so she was leaning on my other arm and I gently kissed her. I suddenly heard footsteps approaching. I quickly lifted Jane back up and onto my knee and arose quickly.

"Afternoon Sir."

"Good afternoon Peter."

Peter was the gardener; he often roamed the gardens pruning the roses at the end of the summer, trimming down the lawn. He was a well respected employee of mine and I highly regarded him.

"Hello Miss Eyre."  
Jane answered him with a polite 'Hello Peter.'

"Fine night isn't it Mr Rochester."

"Yes Peter. If you'll excuse us."

Jane and I quickly hurried down the walkway and once turned the corner we laughed a great deal.

"Oh Edward, do you think he saw us?"  
"I don't know, but we'll soon know for sure tomorrow if the servants start talking."

Jane playfully slapped my arm again.

"Oh Edward, you are a tease!"

I kissed her cheek and grabbed her hand to make way back indoors, the night was beginning and it was growing chilly, I did not want my Jane to become ill with a cold or flu.

Jane and I entered the courtyard through the back side entrance.

"Jane, it grows quite late now you go on up to your room."

"Before I go, did you talk with Lady Ingram?"

"Yes, she won't be bothering you or us again."

"Thank you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Jane."

I kissed Jane repeatedly until she declared that she must go and see to Adele and Kate as the night started to draw in.

"If you must Jane, you must."

My eyes followed her as she ascended up the twirling staircase. Once Jane was out of my sight I averted my eyes to the corridor to see a horrified Mrs Fairfax glance at me, only for a short second before carrying on her duties. I did not know if she saw Jane and me but what did I care? All would be revealed to her soon.

The following day I informed Mrs Fairfax of mine and Jane's engagement. She was very shocked indeed as she thought I would marry Blanche Ingram but she did not dare to question me. I left her in the kitchen as I went in search for Kate and Adele. I found Kate first in the schoolroom by herself.

"Where are Adele and Miss Eyre?"

"They have gone a walking in the gardens."  
"Oh right, well you will be the first to know then."  
"Know what?"

I was seated on the chair next to her and she quickly leaped onto my knee.

"Please tell me!"

"Miss Eyre and I are to be married in one month!"  
"Really? Oh Mr Rochester that is wonderful!"

She kissed my cheek and started to hug me tightly.

"There Kate come on now, back to your reading."

Kate gave me one last kiss on the cheek before jumping off my knee to resume her reading. As I reached the schoolroom door she called out to me,

"I'm so happy for you Sir; I wish you and Miss Eyre the very best!"

"Thank you."

I turned back and retired to my study. I decided that I would let Jane inform Adele of our marriage, it would be much nicer for Adele to hear it from Jane rather than from me. As I entered my study I saw Leah was waiting there.

"Oh Leah, what brings you to my study?"

"May I speak with you please Sir?"

"Of course, take a seat by the desk."

Leah and I sat opposite from each other across my desk. I leaned on the desk and looked at her inquiringly.

"Is this about your trip to Morton?

"No Mr Rochester, it is about something else. And you've just reminded me about that, my trip is to be delayed for a short while."

"Oh I see. So what is this other news you wish to discuss with me?"

"Mr Rochester I know that you have raised me from a child and brought me back here from the Caribbean when my mother died, but I do not know much about her and I wish to know."

Why did Leah have to bring Bertha up now? I was having a wonderful shining day and know all was ruined by the revelation of Leah's real mother.

"Leah…"

"Mr Rochester, I don't want you to lie to me either. I know that you will say my mother is dead but this letter was in my chamber this morning when I awoke."

Leah handed me the letter and I began to read.

_Dearest Leah,_

_I have wanted to see your darling face for many years now but I have been forbidden by the owner of Thornfield Mr Rochester, my husband._

_I give you this letter as a token of my love and affection for you, people say I am mad but I am not mad, it is just the demons come awake in me sometimes, but I am still me. I am locked away in a secret place upstairs. If you do not believe me ask Mr Rochester and you will be able to visit me._

_I have missed you for so long dearest daughter I do not even know how old you are now it has been so long. I love you with all my heart._

_You're Mama._

_Bertha Antoinetta Mason AKA Bertha Antoinetta Rochester_

My face grew grave and pale on reading these words scribbled across the page. I put my head in my hands in great despair.

"Mr Rochester please explain to me what this is all about. Is this true? Have I been lied to all of my life?"

How could I lie to her? She would have to find out sooner or later, how could I stop a daughter from seeing her own mother, I was not that cold hearted. Deep down in my heart I think I knew that this day would come, it was just a matter of time before Leah asked me.

"Oh Leah! What that letter says is true I cannot lie to you, but please allow me to explain."

I rose and walked over to the chaise lounge were Leah followed me, I sat down whilst Leah knelt on her knees before me.

"I will listen."

"It was fifteen years ago, I was sent to the Caribbean where I met your mother Bertha. Bertha was courting a man called William a long time before I met her. She courted him for 2 years and then you were born. Bertha, your mother, and William didn't marry unfortunately for her, but instead he ran off with your mother's closest friend Maria. Your mother was heartbroken and she cut herself off from all society. She raised you for four years until a few months before your fifth birthday I met her. However, I was tricked by Bertha Mason's brother Richard and her father into marrying her (as I will tell you why in a short moment). We married and for a short while we were happy, I believed I loved her, but deep in my heart I didn't, I couldn't I was only young. I Leah am your stepfather, I raised you as if you where my own along with Bertha. It was not long before I realised that after your birth Bertha had become mad with her heartache and this was why she did not venture out. When I met her she was on sedatives and appeared calm. It was but a few months before your mother's illness was made clear to me, she stopped taking her medicine and would lash out at me whenever she could, but she would never attack you. There was always something about you that stopped her from harming you. Bertha's father and brother didn't want to care for her so they threw her on me to care for and even my father didn't know she was a madwoman."

Tears started to escape from me and I felt I could not continue.

"Please Mr Rochester, continue."

"I brought you both back to England with me after the death of my father and brother. I ordered a carer to care for your mother in the North Tower and you where sent to school. You were six or seven I think at the time and I believe you do not remember anything of your former life. You only believed that your mother had died and I had taken you in, I could not break your tiny little heart by telling you the truth so I continued on the falsehood. No one here in England knows of my marriage and I would like to keep it that way. On my finding out Bertha was a madwoman by several doctors I wrote to my father to inform him of her sanity and not to tell any of our acquaintances, which he duly agreed on as it would have ruined his reputation as well as mine."

"And now?"

"Now I feel it is time you met your mother Leah, please do not hate me for lying to you. You must try to understand why I did so."

By know Leah had started to tremble and sob violently. I took her in my arms and comforted her. How could I have stopped from breaking Leah's heart? She must not be angry with me. Leah looked up at me with the most heartbroken of faces.

"Mr Rochester, I want to see her."

"Now? Are you sure?"

"Yes, now."

"Very well Leah, but you must understand that Bertha is mad and it is not a pretty sight, she has violent attacks sometimes and even if she recognises you she may attack you so you must stay by me at all times. If she does attack you it does not mean she cares less, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you Leah."

She gave a slight nod of her head and wiped the tears away from her face. She took hold of my hand and I began to lead her up to the North Tower, so she could finally meet her mother.


	15. Demons

We walked along the dimly lit corridors

We walked along the dimly lit corridors. All the while Leah was grasping my hand tightly. We arrived at the door to the North Tower, all appeared in darkness. I stopped and looked around me in case any servants happened to be about. All appeared to be deserted. I slowly took the solid steel silver key from my waistcoat pocket and proceeded to unlock the heavy wooden door. By this time Leah was starting to look very anxious for the wait ahead.

"Leah, don't worry everything will be fine. Come on now."

Leah still holding tightly to my hand continued to follow me up the winding staircase.

We came to the outer room of the North Tower.

"Leah, wait here please for just one moment."

She simply nodded her head motioning a 'yes'. I pulled back the red velvet curtain from the doorway leading into the inner room. I again took the key and proceeded to unlock the door. Upon entering I found Grace, sitting quietly and peacefully in the window seat, sewing. All the while Bertha was sitting at her dressing table gazing at her torrid and limp reflection in the mirror.

"Hello Grace, how is bertha today?"

"Sir, she appears to be calm now, but we had a little bit of a scuffle earlier this morning as she refused to let me brush the knots from her hair. Didn't you Bertha?"

I glanced over from Grace to the image of Bertha, there she still sat seemingly in an imaginary world. I slowly made my way towards her, always being on my guard. I may not know of what dangerous objects she may behold from her nightly wanderings.

"Bertha, did you refuse to have your hair combed?"

"Yes."

"And why was that?"

"It hurts my head when she does it."  
"If you do not let Grace comb your hair then you will get knots in it, it will become all tangled and your hair will no longer be pretty. You want to stay pretty don't you Bertha."

"Yes."

Grace carefully picked up the silver plated come and began to gently comb her hair. She seemed quite serene and at peace today; but I knew that this act would not last too long. She was usually like this before she pounced on someone in one of her violent attacks. I do understand that it isn't her fault and that her mind is filled with demons, but I can't help but wonder if her real soul, her true self is trapped inside her own mind and is struggling to break free from the maddening grasp of her dastardly demons. Grace had just finished combing her hair when Leah appeared at the door.

"Is that my mother?"

"Yes Leah, this is Bertha."

Grace turned to me.

"Sir do you…"

I interrupted her before she had time to finish.

"Grace, everything is alright."

"I just think that this turn of events may spark her violent side."

"Grace, this is what Bertha appears to want and I believe it was you who wrote the letter following Bertha's dictation, I recognized your handwriting."

"That is correct Sir but…"  
"Then return to your sewing, I'll hear no more about it."

I walked over to the door and took Leah's hand, after closing the door I brought her forward to Bertha.

"Bertha, do you remember the letter you sent to Leah, your daughter?"

"Letter? The letter!"

"Well, I have brought Leah to see you."

Leah stood directly in front of Bertha. Bertha had not moved whilst I spoke to her but now she swirled her body round in her chair and looked up at Leah, then appearing to be talking to someone not present within the room.

"Qué ha sucedido a mi hermosa hija! Ella está en harapos!"

I quickly sensed Bertha's coming attack; I stood firm on my feet and waited for her to strike.

"Leah, back slowly away – towards the door!"

"Why?"  
"Just do it!"

As Leah started slowly for the door Bertha jumped up towards Leah. I quickly ran in front of her and arrested Bertha's hands, but not before she scratched me hard across my neck. I could have arrested her with one small blow to the face or stomach but I would not strike a lady. Least of all Bertha, she didn't mean what she did. But that did not stop me from despising her. I didn't despise her because of her madness but because she was thrust upon me and I had no way out.

Leah witnessed in terror the struggle me and Bertha laid out in front of her. Grace quickly arrived to my aid in helping me arrest Bertha, with rope to bind her hands. This accomplished we carefully shuffled her over to the bed. Grace held her down firmly with a strong grip so she would not struggle and break free of the rope, which although I had bound it tightly enough to contain her, she could break free from its grasp on her.

"Leave quickly Sir, I will calm her again."

I took hold of Leah's arm; who was still in a distressful state of panic. For her, to witness a violent attack on me by her own mother came quite as a shock to her on hr first formal meeting. I led her out into the outer room of the North tower, making sure to lock the door behind me.

"Are you alright Leah?"

Silence.

"Leah…Leah!"  
"Oh sorry, what?"

I had finally gotten her attention.

"Are you alright?"  
"I don't know. How could she act like that? To harm you. She seemed fine to me, but then she just leaped out of her chair. Oh it was horrible! That's my mother!?"

"Leah, it is her mental state of madness that makes her act thus. She didn't mean me any harm. I have suffered worse at the hands of her violence. This was just a scratch."  
"But your neck, you are bleeding."

"Leah, enough fussing over me. I am more concerned about you! Are you going to be alright? I should never have taken you to see her. You were not prepared."  
"No, Mr Rochester, I thank you for allowing me to see her. Will I be able to visit her sometimes?"

"Of course, but you must always be in my company when doing so. Is that clear?"  
"Yes."

"Off you go now, get some rest."

Leah stood up slowly and walked towards the staircase.

"Oh before I go one more thing."

"Yes?"  
"Are you really my stepfather, did you really look after me?"  
I could not help but smile at this.

"Yes I did. I vowed that I would take care of you. You are a lady of rank Leah, but you must understand why I did not act on it. I did not want you becoming like your mother; wearing lavish, high street clothes, going to parties every night. I know what that life is like and so did she. I didn't want you growing up in that society. Forgive me Leah."

"I forgive you Mr Rochester. I am happy with the type of life that I lead. You are my stepfather and I know you will have made the right decision."

With that she stepped quietly down the winding staircase and into darkness. All of a sudden my life had become more complicated than it has ever been before. Leah knows I am married so therefore she knows that lawfully I cannot marry Jane. If she reveals my darkest secret Jane will leave forever and I will be forced to live a life of sin, just waiting for my little bird to return for her to come back to me. If she left me, my heart would break into a thousand pieces and that special bond between us would break, would snap away like a frayed lace of string.

How could I live my life without her, to be waiting for her only to find she has married another and has a settled life. That would break my heart my very soul to learn she has moved on from me and has broken off her love for me, and gave that passion to another man. A man who deserves her. My life has never been so complicated.


End file.
